SESA Mailbag #237

Dear Channel Ten,

Back in August of last year, you impressed us all with the news that you would be 'fast-tracking' House - meaning that you would be showing it 'fresh off the satellite' a bit under a week after it screened in the US, instead of what you usually do, which is holding shows that start in the US in September for the start of our ratings year, the following February.

You were doing this for us, you said. We knew you were in fact doing this to try to slow the spread of downlaoding biting into your ratings, but still, we were appreciative. Better than nothing, right?

And then the writers went on strike, and House (and Life, and Journeyman, and Supernatural, and all the other shows you were 'fast-tracking') close up production and you were left with the opening of a ratings season with no new episodes of anything (except, oddly, for two episodes of Life you never screened, for some reason that no-one understands). And it sucked for you.

But here's the bit you may not have heard: the writers strike is over. It ended MONTHS ago. David Shore and the House team went back into the studio and produced four of their best episodes yet to wrap up the season.

The second part of the two-part season finale aired in the US a week ago. It was awesome and involving and sad and gripping and filled with OMFGoodness in spades.

To date, you have aired one new episode. After running a brief but intense 'House is Back!' campaign, you aired one new episode, before resuming the steady diet of repeats we've been fed for months now.

So, what happened to the fast-tracking?

I mean, it doesn't matter to me - I've seen everything you're not showing me now, and even if you decided to get your arse into gear, I still wouldn't bother watching. And I dare say I'm not the only one who's given up on your shit to get their TV when they want it.

(You could pass that last bit onto messers Nine and Seven, who have the rights to Pushing Daisies, Gossip Girl and Chuck, but see no reason to air them ...)

It's a bit of a shame for all of you, really. I'm a good little consumer and in your target demographic, but I am no longer buying what you are selling. And I love television of all kinds, and will happily spread the word, both to my real life friends and all over the interweb - if I see something worth watching.

The thing is this: I have no wish to be a downloader. There is a little part of me that would rather not do it. Unfortunately, I am also a citizen of cyberworld, and as such, I'm somewhat compelled. The watercooler that I gather around to discuss my favourite TV shows is no longer in the corner of my office - it's in my computer and all over the world. And sadly, it just doesn't cut it out here if you're six months behind - nor will the fans in the US and UK think not to discuss the surprise death in the season finale all over the internet just because some suckers in Australia haven't seen it yet and don't wish to be spoiled.

And to that, you could tell me that I could just stay away from the various websites that are most likely to spoil me, and hold off on my discussion, or limit it to the lameness that is The Tribal Mind. But that's not really likely to help when YOU are just as likely to spoil me as anyone else. Remember when Marissa Cooper died? Remember those weeks of promos you ran advising me to watch the lead-up to the season finale in which Marissa Cooper will die!!!

Because that was meant to be a SURPRISE. We weren't meant to know about it until it happened. If you'd fast-tracked the show a) you wouldn't have been able to run weeks of promos spoiling us all and b) we might have had a chance to actually be shocked.

So, no, I can't just stay off the internet for the months between when they air it and when you air it. I have to stay off the network instead.

Or I could just download it. And sure, I might feel a little bad about it, but it's better than the alternative. And once I start downloading it, what do you think the chances are that I'll ever stop and come back to you? Seriously.

No longer yours,

Chesty LaRue

So What's Josh Schwartz been Up To Then?

Thanks to the L337 tecknikal knowledge of a certain Miss ActonB - who I believe was schooled in the art of L337 by an even more certain Killer Rabbit - I've finally figured out the fine art of downloading.

And what have I been using these mad skillz for, you may ask? Well, aside from trying to get all those episodes of Ed that I missed due to Channel Ten treating it like whenever filler without enough regular viewers to care if it was on a Thursday one week or a Saturday the next week or a weekday midday the week after - and yes, it's old, and so I really am probably watching a copy someone taped on their *cough* VCR some seven years ago and the picture and sound quality aren't all that awesome but any Ed is better than no Ed and until the networks get their arses into gear and release this awesomeness onto DVD (and the chances of that happening seem to be slimming so fast that even Nicole Richie is jealous) this is going to have to do *sigh* (I love Ed), I've been catching up with some of the new shows that are yet to reach our outdated, antequated Australian shores - or if they have, aren't being made available to the free-to-air viewing public.

And where better to start than with the the new stuff Josh Schwartz is putting out there.

read the rest

Now, we all know who Josh Schwartz is - the son of New York toy inventors who started subsrcibing to Variety at the age of twelve and ended up being the youngest ever creator of a network television show at age 26*. That show was The OC, and it made him rather famous, and also rather hated when it all went a bit pear-shaped in the second and third seasons, and then it made him loved again when Season Four was awesome, but by then it was too late and it made him unemployed.

But not for long - in fact, he began working on two shows, both of which premiered in 'The Fall' over in the US. And both of which I - as a diehard OCite - have been rather curious about for quite a while.

And now I have seen the pilots of both, I'm ready to deliver some verdicts.

First off: Chuck. I wasn't sure about this one, because it's a step away from teen drama, but it's actually really ... adorkable. Everything about it is adorkable. Especially Chuck himself - the twenty-something Nerd Herder who lives with his sister and is still pining for his college girlfriend and who accidentally downloads the entire NSA and CIA databases into his brain (in cool clockwork orange picture form and featuring more pie that one might expect).

Why, yes, dimming the 'but how ...' part of ones brain at the door does help in ones enjoyment of this show. And, yes, it could very easily have been rather bad - and don't think there aren't a fair number of viewers out there that think it was - but I for one loved it. It's cheesy, it's cheeky and it doesn't take itself very seriously at all. But it also has heart - and Chuck (Zachary Levi ... who I've never seen before but who I kinda love a little bit now) is so likeable that it makes all the stupid stuff ... cool.

And there is plenty here that could be stupid: car chases, improbable fight scenes, a token 'hot spy chick' who spends a lot of time in her hotel room in her underwear, a Baldwin - but it's so much fun that I don't care at all.

Plus there's a character called Captain Awesome. And that, my friends, is awesome. The Verdict: Two very enthusiastic thumbs up - fine holiday fun.

Next up, I subjected myself to Gossip Girl. Which isn't really right, because it's hardly a chore watching so many pretty people running around New York being bitchy (unless you're asking me to watch Sex and The City ... because that is painful).

Gossip Girl is - thematically - a lot closer to The OC, and it's therefore a lot harder not to compare the two. This kinda sucks for Gossip Girl, because it lacks a lot of the heart that The OC had. It's also - unfortunately - based on a series of books (kinda like Sweet Valley High meets Famous magazine, or something), meaning it's got a second in-built group of haters right there because - gasp! - it dares to not follow the books to the letter.

Sigh. What would be the fun in that?

So I liked it. It's delightfully soapy. The cast are all pretty and they all get about in pretty clothes and go to pretty parties. And of course there is evil and darkness (mostly in the form of serial attempted-rapist Chuck (because apparently it was decided that every show that premiered on American TV last year had to feature at least one character called Chuck - and that's really why the writers went on strike, but you didn't hear it from me) who is the most despicable character who's graced my TV screen in some time) and lots of Beautiful People Behaving Badly.

It's flawed - the voiceover, while supremely cheesy and adding a lot to the feel of the show, needs a little bit more work, and you can see all the storylines getting way shlocky about halfway through the season - but I'm adding it to my list of Guilty Pleasures.

And despite the fact that I didn't love it as much as Chuck, the soapiness means I'm hanging out for the second episode a little bit more.

So, after seeing both the pilots - I'm seeing a bright future for Mr Schwartz, so long as he doesn't let these shows go the way of The OC. Really, the guy is older and wiser now (he's like ... 31) so there's no reason to think he'll make those juvenile 20-something mistakes all over again.

And if you've seen more than I have and I'm wrong ... please don't tell me. I need something to look forward to in the mostly bleak wasteland that is TV world.


* In other words, he got the life I wanted. Toy inventors? So cool.