Up Next: Forty Sports in Forty Minutes!

So, given the Olymics are pretty much over, here are some things that whoever is broadcasting them next time might want to consider ...

- Yes, we do have short attention spans, but please try for coherence: three javelin throws, followed by half a race, followed by a single rythmic gymnastics routine, followed by another half of a race, followed by another two javelin throws, followed by two dives, followed by 90 seconds of a soccer game, a three-minute intro to a race - most of which involves a still shot of the Australian competitor standing on the spot staring into space, a 40 second race, one more javelin throw and two more dives do NOT a fun half-hour of viewing make.

- If you do have to cross between events, it would help if you made the comentators aware of your intentions, so they could welcome us back and tell us about what we missed, to give what we're about to see some, you know, context.

- Speaking of commentators, please ask them to provide actual commentary. You're paying experts to share their expertise with us, to help us understand what we are seeing and make sense of how well or not well competitors are doing - and we would really appreciate it if they would do that, instead of just rabbiting on about what it was like when they were young and/or mindlessly exclaiming when something interesting happens without offering us viewers any actual insight into what that interesting thing is and why it is so.

- We don't just care about the swimming. No, really. 

- That said, see above: One sport at a time. PLEASE. 

- No, the whole country is not on the edge of it's seat. No, this moment will not go down in history. No, we will not be telling our grandchildren about this moment (unless, you know, we're already grandparents and they've just nipped out for some bread and when they get back they ask what they missed ... then we might mention it). No, this is not the greatest achievement in history. It's just fucking sport, and it might be a bit of fun to watch, but should we - god forbid - come second, nothing will really change.  

- Yes, Cliches are bad. 

- Replays are ok, but interrupting a live event to once more show us a courageous and amazing swim from three days ago that we've already seen forty times is not. 

- Joanna Griggs has no personality and sounds like she's taken one too many elocution lessons. Hire someone less robotic. 

That is all. Let's hope it's a looong four years.