Big Brother, as we all know, will not be on television from next year, THANK GOD. Which means that three months' worth of prime-time television will have to be filled by Ten, and I'm curious as to how it will be done. More of Ten's unofficial flagship program, The Simpsons? Perhaps. I hope it's not going to be some shockingly bad reality program stolen from American television, although it probably will be. Ugh. I still want to savour the feeling of Big Brother's cancellation for a little while longer. Seriously, I'm embarrassed by my early optimism ahead of this year's "rejuvenated" BB format. Rejuvenated my arse. I haven't watched a full episode of BB since my last post here two months ago; the sentiment at the end of which pretty much encapsulated my feelings then and now. I don't really care who wins it this year, but if you pressed me, I guess I'd say Terri. Whatever. Although I still kind of like Ben.

Australian Idol



YAY! I know last year's final was about as memorable as what you had for breakfast that morning, but something in me still absolutely adores Idol. The promos for this year are slightly worrying, for several reasons. First, because now we pretty much know who the final 50 are. Smooth move, Ten. And second, because the women appear to be more butch than ever, and the men are bigger pansies than ever. Why the HIGH VOICES? I blame Benji Mac.

Who else sniggers at that red haired guy? American Idol already did the nerdy-red-hair-guy-is-way-out-of-his-league a few years ago:

RED POWER!

Foxtel Fulminations: Hannah Montana

So, I get that I'm probably not in the target age demographic for the show Hannah Montana, featuring Miley Cyrus, but I'm a little bit bemused. Bemused both by the show itself and Miley Cyrus' inexplicable popularity among the kiddies of generations younger than my own. I've seen the show, and... it reminds me of Drake and Josh, Lizzie McGuire and that show featuring Dylan and Cole Sprouse (those blonde fuckers who used to play Ross's son on Friends. Let's hear it for random trivia!). In other words, the whole stupid show is poorly written, its young stars drive me to distraction with their underdeveloped, over-wrought acting, and the laugh track is as effective as the condom you used to keep in your wallet before you realised that it's pretty much fucked due to the change in temperature that occurs whenever you take your wallet out of your pocket. I don't quite know what my point is. I suppose I just enjoy tut-tutting over how impressionable children are.

Miley Cyrus is bulimic, meaning that she can read minds

As for her popularity, well: While I can understand why Hilary Duff was popular (her songs weren't altogether terrible, and she is quite pretty), Miley Cyrus's popularity really bothers me. It has nothing to do with that skanky photo shoot, or the fact that her creepy Keith Urban-esque dad probably took her virginity years ago -- although these facts do little to help the situation. Everyone seems to skip over the fact that she has a busted set of teeth, and she has a voice much older than her fifteen years would suggest, both of which are possibly related to an undiagnosed bout of The Bulimia. She sounds exactly like an emphysemic, chain smoking fifty-five year old woman. With the aforementioned busted teeth. Shudder.