The Biggest Big Loser Brother!
The Biggest Loser.
Yay Sam! I was genuinely happy that Sam took out the third series. In a final comprised of two of my favourites (both of whom I liked more or less right from the two episodes I watched at the start), it was a most fantastic result. Pity I missed most of it due to an earlier engagement (read: Sex & The City on Foxtel).
The other bad news is that all three contestants looked distinctly haggard. Alison had crows feet, where before she had cherubic features. Sam even looked kind of old, surprisingly. And huge ears! Did you see his ears? I guess the weathered looks might have something to do with the lighting -- everyone looked a bit off. Still, I guess they must have gone home and subsisted on a diet of dust and sticks, slept whilst running on the treadmill, and chugged battery acid to dissolve the remaining calories. So the weathered faces can be excused.
Big Brother.
ACTION REPLAY: Terri is evicted by housemate vote, who then banishes Nobbi to the Kombi van. But she isn't gone yet! Oh no, it looks like she'll be back this Sunday or thereabouts. Amongst other dramas fermenting in the BB crock pot, Travis is getting all sorts of shit for his BLATANT faggotry, and as much as he doth protest, the jury has already returned a unanimous decision. No matter how hard he waves the rolling pin which he had wedged firmly up his lower colon in staunch defence of his utterly unconvincing heterosexuality, nobody is convinced. Blind, deaf, mute people around the country are all 'der, as if he ISN'T gay'. You know, if deaf mutes could speak, that is.
ANALYSIS: Look, the subject of Travis' sexuality is a moot point. Moot, I tell you. I can't picture a straight woman ever being interested in straddling that sickly frame, ever, not even on Opposite Day. Likewise, what gay man would put up with him anyway? Going out with someone who talks and sounds like an especially toxic woman (with unspecified vaginal trauma) kind of defeats the point of being interested in men, yeah? Can I get a holler from my queer compatriates?
PROTRACTED SIGH: Corey Delaney is set to enter the Big Brother house. Which begs the question: Would you say it's time to crack each other's heads open and feast on the goo inside? Yes I would, Kent.
NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP, NEVER GONNA SAY GOODBYE: Ben, is it possible that you could do or say anything that could make me love you less? You're arrogant. You clearly feel entitled. You think that because you were universally beloved within your school that this would translate into the Big Brother house. But fuck me if I don't really like you. PS, I think you're spot on about Dave. Ie. the "nice guy". Nice guy, my tit.
UPDATE: Okay, I think I'm over him.
Yay Sam! I was genuinely happy that Sam took out the third series. In a final comprised of two of my favourites (both of whom I liked more or less right from the two episodes I watched at the start), it was a most fantastic result. Pity I missed most of it due to an earlier engagement (read: Sex & The City on Foxtel).
The other bad news is that all three contestants looked distinctly haggard. Alison had crows feet, where before she had cherubic features. Sam even looked kind of old, surprisingly. And huge ears! Did you see his ears? I guess the weathered looks might have something to do with the lighting -- everyone looked a bit off. Still, I guess they must have gone home and subsisted on a diet of dust and sticks, slept whilst running on the treadmill, and chugged battery acid to dissolve the remaining calories. So the weathered faces can be excused.
Big Brother.
ACTION REPLAY: Terri is evicted by housemate vote, who then banishes Nobbi to the Kombi van. But she isn't gone yet! Oh no, it looks like she'll be back this Sunday or thereabouts. Amongst other dramas fermenting in the BB crock pot, Travis is getting all sorts of shit for his BLATANT faggotry, and as much as he doth protest, the jury has already returned a unanimous decision. No matter how hard he waves the rolling pin which he had wedged firmly up his lower colon in staunch defence of his utterly unconvincing heterosexuality, nobody is convinced. Blind, deaf, mute people around the country are all 'der, as if he ISN'T gay'. You know, if deaf mutes could speak, that is.
ANALYSIS: Look, the subject of Travis' sexuality is a moot point. Moot, I tell you. I can't picture a straight woman ever being interested in straddling that sickly frame, ever, not even on Opposite Day. Likewise, what gay man would put up with him anyway? Going out with someone who talks and sounds like an especially toxic woman (with unspecified vaginal trauma) kind of defeats the point of being interested in men, yeah? Can I get a holler from my queer compatriates?
PROTRACTED SIGH: Corey Delaney is set to enter the Big Brother house. Which begs the question: Would you say it's time to crack each other's heads open and feast on the goo inside? Yes I would, Kent.
NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP, NEVER GONNA SAY GOODBYE: Ben, is it possible that you could do or say anything that could make me love you less? You're arrogant. You clearly feel entitled. You think that because you were universally beloved within your school that this would translate into the Big Brother house. But fuck me if I don't really like you. PS, I think you're spot on about Dave. Ie. the "nice guy". Nice guy, my tit.
UPDATE: Okay, I think I'm over him.
Labels: Big Brother, The Biggest Loser
posted by Jacob at
10:28 pm
5 Comments:
Travis is as gay as a 1950s family outing to the seaside. I guess it's just his love for Jebus which keeps him from giving in to his desire for Teh Buttsecks.
I wouldn't go out with him - its all that dark body hair which repels me. A bit of effeminacy isn't always a bad thing, but all things in moderation!
In other BB matters, I wish Nobbi wouldn't keep touching his little Asian nobby all the time. Gross!
And as for Corey ... I have a feeling that there's a chance the producers might not give him a good and easy time of it.
I mean, everyone does hate him, and once they've got him in the house, BB has no vested interest in making him look good or have a good time.
I hope they DESTROY him.
OMG! He tried to take a BIBLE into the House!
*vomits*
(Sorry, INC. I love you. And I kinda like Travis. But...
Sheesh!
Actually, about the Bible, I thought that books weren't allowed in the house. But I guess nobody actually reads the Bible anyway.
Confession: Last night I found myself thinking that Travis isn't really that bad looking.
I mean, I'm just saying that if you were feeling really frisky, you could do worse than straddling his sickly frame.
I'm not saying that the guy is hot or anything, but you know....
This is me not dignifying that comment with a response.
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