Australian Idol: The Final Three

My Idol rants have become a combination of lengthy essays on the nuances of the show, bouts of apoplectic vein popping regarding Marty Simpson's persistence in getting through each show against all logic and reason, and the odd post where the overwhelming crapness of this year's Idol have rendered me, inexplicably, at a total loss of inspiration to snark.

So, in the words of James Mathison, we shall take it left foot, right foot, as we make it to the end of this rather prickly year of Idol, wheezing and clasping at our various wounds.

Ahem, now that I'm done waxing lyrical, it's down to the bizz of tonight's Idol, the theme of which is Audience's Choice.

My first thought is: yay! None of the poncy crap that was Swing Night. Let's hope the audience members pick decent songs. I also hope that the audience members are really awkward and end up mincing their words, because there's nothing funnier than watching randoms being put in unfamiliar situations.

Ha, and the first random IS incredibly awkward. Props to Andrew G for subtly making fun of him. Hey - who else reckons that Andy G and James Mathison have gotten kind of snarkier and funnier this year? The one example that comes to mind is G's brilliantly succinct comment to Marty about crashing in the waves or learning to surf. Anyway, the song is Ray of Light by Madonna, and... meep. Any higher and it would be Benji Mac circa 2001. It isn't great, but I've loved Nat for so long that the worst key change of the year didn't seriously phase me. What DOES phase me is that she excuses her crap performance by blaming nerves. BITCH, you've been on the show for months now, nerves are no longer a legitimate excuse for suckage.

Nat's second song, of her own choice, is Pink's Nobody Knows. I ashamedly confess to owning the CD and loving every song on it, so she's already got this one in the bag as far as I'm concerned. Great choice, particularly for her own style. It's not likely to be another 'rehab moment', and it's ballad-ey and strong enough to get the fickle audience to rise up in their seats for her. There's just one arse note in it, but it's a solid effort. Squee, I was just about to mention the shoes when Kyle said the stuff about how they made her legs look like a chicken's. Not to be too unfair to the shoes, the whole outfit is a bit crap. It's like she's singing at her high school talent show and gone for the messed up uniform look rather than bring in a change of clothes.

Carl is the second to perform, his first song tonight is that 'You Give Me Something' song. I guess it's a logical song choice, he can get away with that faux-smoky shit that he does (which we all know is just a weak voice being strained). His photo shoot is sort of funny, because the guy from BMG records says that they've had Harry Connick Jr signed to the label for many years, which begs the question: why do we need another one like him? Even more hilarious, it takes him and the photographers a little while to realise that what's needed to take a good shot is for his trumpet to be in the picture somewhere. It's an excellent metaphor for his entire Idol experience, I think.

Anyway - I much prefer the Carl who wears hoodies and denim to the one who wears fugly cheap suits, I've decided. Just putting that out there for anyone who is interested. The performance itself is tolerable, but what shocks and disturbs are the daggy little moves that he does toward the end of the song. It was lame. How lame? Lame as a room full of cerebral palsy sufferers.

His second song is For Once In My Life. I don't want to dwell on this point for longer than absolutely necessary, but I thought it was really good. I was doing that involuntary head bop thing as I was sitting at the computer watching it. D'oh! Stupid inconsistent brain of mine. I'm not meant to like Carl! Moving on I think.

Ha, before we get onto Matt Corby's performance, I have to give honourable mention to Kyle's hilarious bit about only doing cones. True. Funny and true. See, it's because he does drugs, and it was a play on words? Are you with me? Kyle's funny. Maybe Big Brother won't suck so much next year after all.

Ahem. Yes, Matt Corby. Has anyone else notices that public favour has turned away from Matt in recent weeks? He's obviously still a dead set favourite for the win, but some of the judges' comments have been decidedly more negative than before, which were almost unilaterally positive.

I think it started around the time he went to the ARIAs and spent much of the time being uncomfortable around the big slebs because of the stigma attached to the Idol franchise and its many offspring. I kind of love him for that, because at least he's self aware and has a reasonably realistic and mature attitude toward the Idol thing. Dicko's reassurances by the way, that the traditional routes taken by past musicians are merely an alternative in the age of Youtube and Myspazz, didn't quite assuage Matt's reservations, as well they shouldn't.

But enough of all that.

I'm quite pleased with the song choice, 'Too Late' by Evermore, which allows him the room to do that wailing thing he does so well. The voice is a bit... cartoony? Like, Spongebob? I don't know if that's totally accurate, but I was reminded of cartoon character voices in the first part of the song, but he seems to relax into it a bit. Thank the lord Jesus Christ and his corporate affiliates that he doesn't go all mopey and sad-sack on us afterwards like the last couple of weeks. Maybe it was cause it was Matt's seventeenth birthday (ha, he's younger than Ben McKenzie, wtf!?!?) this week and he's flying through on those happy thoughts.

The second song is the performance of the night, an excellent rendition of the Beatles' 'Across the Universe'. I remember Chanel Cole's performance of it three years ago, and it remains as one of my favourite songs and Idol moments ever. I'm so happy to see that he's done without the superfluous and off-sounding key change that Chanel had to put her chords through, if it's at all possible to make a criticism of it. But basically it's fantastic. If Simon Cowell were a guest judge (which I totally think Australian Idol should have) he'd say that it was his Idol winner's acceptance performance.

What's with Kyle's thing about how 'straight' Matt is? Wording is everything, Kyle.

So, tonight again was a good indication of how I think this year is. Nat and Carl were okay, but Matt, the clear favourite, is miles and miles ahead. I cannot wait for the results tomorrow. I'm thinking Carl will go. But I've been wrong before at this stage in previous years, so I guess we'll see.

G'night, y'all.