Oy, this god awful show made me slip a disc

BIG BROTHER:

Y'all probably already heard that Gretel Killeen has quit/been sacked from her role as host of Big Brother, and been replaced with Kyle Sandilands and Jackie O. My impression of this is that Ten have gotten it right with need to make changes, I'm just not sure whether this is quite the change that will bring the show back from the abyss that was BB07 (and, come to think of it, BB05 and 06). Changes that needed to be made were:

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1) Chose better housemates. This has been a trend that has gotten way out of hand. As a viewer, I really don't find it remotely entertaining watching the same bunch of bland miscreants and bogans enunciating poorly on television every year. Housemates with giant fake boobs does not make for watchable television. The same can be said for all the lame 'twists' that fall on their arse the second they are effected.

2) Bring back Uncut. The idea that Channel Ten had any responsibility to the Australian public to pull that show in the first place is laughable. Whatever criticism you might have of the crudeness and questionable material that the housemates get up to, ultimately what the housemates do on a television show ought to be fair game, and people who don't like it can exercise their tiny minds by making the decision not to watch. It's as simple as that. Any suggestion that we're safer or a more moral society because a television show is taken off air is nothing but bullshit, and I'm sick of the stupid nonsense that gets peddled every year by politicians and "pro family" (ie. Pro-Telling Others What To Do) groups telling me otherwise.

The show is DULL without Uncut, and I think last year suffered enormously because of its absence.

Anyway. I hate to judge Gretel's replacements without giving them a chance, but I have a fairly good idea already of how it will turn out. Kyle will attempt to ask the hard questions, while totally lacking the intelligence and sharp wit that Gretel Killeen had, and Jackie O will do all our heads in with her vapidness and stilted on screen manner.

IDOL:

Wow, what a shit night of Idol. Matt Corby apparently got the nerves and couldn't play the piano properly. I don't know what's wrong with that boy; the piano sounded fine, he sounded fine, he looked as messy as ever but at least someone kept him away from the lego-themed dresses.

Imagine my surprise when, half way through Natalie Gauci's performance, I looked up from my dinner to see her standing on the piano which she had hitherto been playing. It was like Andy from Little Britain, how he just randomly turns up in weird places, like the top of a diving board or in a tree:

"How did you get up there?"

"I fell."

I like Natalie, but I wasn't as down with that performance as the judges. It just didn't deserve a Touchdown, no matter how inexpressibly stupid the Touchdown has become (what am I talking about? It's always been stupid).

Marty sucked.

Wow, when did the judges get so pissed with Tarisai for being fake? For those who missed it, she had a near meltdown on stage when confronted with accusations of not being herself. I quite agree with the judges, and what Dicko said about her saying 'thank you' in that breathy voice and not actually listening to their criticism, but it felt a bit like a cruelly staged intervention of some kind.

Carl... well, let's put it this way: the less said about Carl the better. Whatever kudos he earned from me last week was lost this week. Back to his boring self.

I was under the impression that the Idols were performing two songs again tonight, but since the ARIAS were on, they had to cut it down a bit. Which leads quite nicely into the third part of this post...

ARIAS:

How utterly pointless. Australia, first of all, doesn't churn out that many decent musicians each year to warrant such an overblown evening. If the Grammies are like the Oscars for music, then the ARIAS are the equivalent of the plays that four year old kids put on for their parents using dolls and teddies in the living room. It's just an excuse for the Idols to gush over all the "celebrities" and exclaim how they NEVER thought they'd make it THIS FAR and how EXCELLENT it is that they're attending such a prestigious event!

Notes on the ARIAS:

I'm pretty disappointed that there won't any Missy Higgins/David Hasselhoff love-ins again tonight.

No red frilly dresses either. Jeez, Missy, way to let the team down.

Daniel Johns sounded so bad tonight. Oh boy, it was a performance to rival Steph Macintosh's disastrous Footy Show appearance.

Rove really isn't a very good presenter, is he? No he is not.

Ooh! Nicole Kidman is at the ARIAS tonight with her lame husband who no one cares about. Hey, do you reckon she'll let him put his ARIA on the same mantle as her Oscar? [Snigger].

I wonder where Axel Whitehead is, and if his penis is feeling left out?

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE:

I am so looking forward to this show. I'm watching the American version and loving it. I do wonder whether we have quite the same pool of talent as the US, but we shall see. It certainly can do no worse than Dancing With The Stars, which is just so horrible I cannot fathom why anybody actually continues to watch it. Why do people want to see Z-grade celebrities dancing merely competently when you can see the likes of Neil Haskell going insane every week on the dance floor?

Natalie Bassingthwaighte seems like a good appointment to the position of host, methinks. Surprising, really, given that she'll probably use it in the near future to publicise her shitty brand of "electro-rock."