Australian Idol: Judges' Choice

On Friday night I was a total loser and watched the Australian Idol 'Doin' it For The Kids' special. The Helping Sick Kids From The Bush theme got extremely boring as the night wore on, and I didn't appreciate being guilt tripped into donating to some free helicopter service, or even worse, auctioning to buy crap items on offer from the Kyle Sandilands collection. But it was at least partly entertaining.

I quite enjoyed Natalie Gauci's take on Crazy. That was a shock, because I didn't really like it all that much when she performed it in the earlier rounds (which, by the way, seems like several years ago now). Disappointing that Ben wasn't there though. Howcome last year when Bobby Flynn was kicked out he was allowed to come back for the Up Close And Personal show but Ben wasn't allowed to perform on Friday night too?

[Don't worry though, Ben. We'll go shopping, yeah? We will be FABULOUS. Yes we will.]

Anyway - tonight's Idol, which was the first round where each Idol performed two songs, was Judges' Choice, otherwise known as the Swap Back and Forth Between Idol And Watching Kevin Rudd Walking All Over John Howard night.

Why didn't they just make it easier on me and do a genre cross-over? We could have the audience gauging the Idols' performances with the little wormy thing at the bottom of the screen -- then we might be able to get an interactive measure of just how shit Marty Simpson's flaccid attempts at producing a marketable sound are. It might also have been interesting to see how far the worm dipped whenever Daniel Mifsud hit any of the many crap high notes that punctuated his deplorable performance.

On the flip side, we could have had John Howard leaping about the stage singing Sinead O'Connor. Hey - girlfriend's already got the funky baldness going on. And you look me in the eye and say you wouldn't love to see Kevin Rudd in a pair of emo pants, sporting a mop of floppy, boot-polished hair.

Actually, I doubt that would work.

Anyway!

Tarisai Vushe - I am still loving that crazy-arse hair of hers and I generally think she's got a wicked voice. HOWEVER, and this is a big however, I think she is ultimately hampered by her lack of personality. Every week she struggles to come across as the quiet and personable type (but fails), and she's extremely inarticulate, which makes the case for wanting her to win pret-ty thin.

Daniel Mifsud - It's so disturbing to me that every week his hair resembles that of Tracy Turnblad. I also find it difficult to look at him when he's singing because he does this weird thing with his non-mic hand that looks like he's... well... interfering with himself. In matters pertaining to his vocal quality: it's a bit too meh, really.

Carl Riseley - It was actually Friday night that I realised this, but I've changed how I feel about Carl. He's less of a goober than he was in previous weeks. He even looks better, for some reason. I don't want him to win (nor do I expect him to) but I feel that his inclusion in the competition thus far isn't totally unwarranted. I dislike the Michael Buble genre, but after several weeks of internal warring over the merits of Carl Riseley's passable voice and mediocre taste in music, I have made my peace with it and am ready to move on. I feel like the protagonist in some really shit novel.

Marty Simpson - ehhh. What can I say that hasn't been said? I swear every time he steps out on stage he consults a checklist of excuses for why he sucks so much:

Marty Simpson Excuse Checklist:

I can't perform on my guitar
There isn't enough time
Australian Idol is wrong for me
I'm a surfie rocker type guy
This genre doesn't suit my unique style
My legs hurt
Wah wahhh wahh

Folks, it really has gotten too far. Is Australia trying to punk me or something? Is there actually any substance to these rumours about Idol being fixed? Because... I am at a loss. Please end it. I NEVER want to hear him do Bob Marley again. Likewise, I never want to have his bogan taste inflicted on me again in the form of Pearl Jam's Last Kiss. Oh, and his story about how the song meant more to him because he had a friend who died in a motorcycle accident didn't shake my belief that it was the single most bogan song choice of any contestant EVER.

Matt Corby - he da winner fo sho. The weird Von Trapp thing that he wore tonight for his first performance was weird, but I quite enjoyed his go at that song from the Phanton of the Opera. It could only be Mark Holden who gave him that. The second song saw him back to his usual fare -- sitting at a piano and singing soulfully, whilst occasionally looking up to dazzle us with those disarming blue eyes of his.

Natalie Gauci - whee! I think she's back on the wheat, poor love. Apart from being a FAT HEIFER*, she's also my second favourite in the competition now that Ben has gone (sigh) (Ben, my offer to hang out still stands, mkay. A friend of mine reckons he knows your ex, and from the sound of it I reckon we'd have a lot in common. So yeah, call me?), and I reckon she's THIS CLOSE to being other people's second favourite as well. Just give her a chance, y'all.

Right. Not a bad night, unlike last week. I'm hoping all the crappiness of last week and the disappointing result will have made way for a good result tomorrow night. Make it happen, twelve year old girls of Australia.

G'night everyone.


Irrelevant side-note: On Rove tonight, the guests included Stephen Curry and some stupid jockey. A JOCKEY, PEOPLE. I was embarrassed for Rove, to be honest.


* I'm just exaggerating, der.