SYTYCD Top 100 Part 2: So You Think You Can Guess The Top 20*?

And so we meet again. I'm not as good as this as MissB, but ever so grateful for the opportunity. So settle in, grab yourself a cup of tea or coffee or whatever and get comfy. It was a looooong night. And if you haven't done so, don't forget to scroll down and read AB's recap of Top 100 Part 1 FIRST. Or you'll be all spoilered and shit by the time you get to it, and we don't want that (just another reason you've got to click 'read the rest' to get to the good stuff).

So we start ... once again ... with a big exciting opening. Set to the young divas. Is it Flashback? Is it preview? Who knows? Who cares? 'Time To Step Up' flashes across the screen and we get some grabs of exciting things that maybe the judges are going to say tonight. Except they don’t. But we don’t know that yet. I hope that they only do this opening one more time – at the start of the first dancing episode – and then they give it away. It’s ok, show, we get it.

The credits roll and as Nat does her obligatory opening to-camera, I figure out what her problem is: she’s an actor, not a presenter. She seems to need a way to play these rather cheesy and meaningless lines, and today she’s chosen to play them as though the camera has just broken up with her, and she’s trying to win it back. Earnest. Odd.

So ... now it's time for a quick recap of Top 100 week so far. This show loves it’s recaps. And then we pick up where we left off: halfway through the group dance task. Which, yes, is a kind of odd point to leave off, but anyways.

read the rest

First up tonight is Josh’s group. Well, it’s not really HIS group but in the spirit of storyline each group segment focuses on one member of the group and ignores the rest. It’s annoying, but whatevs.

We all remember Josh, don’t we? He auditioned with his friend Seony, and they both got through to Sydney. Unfortunately Seony got cut in the pree top-100 cull they don’t tell you about but they couldn’t show Josh’s original audition without showing Seony so they’ve had to make up an excuse for why we haven’t seen him since couldn’t make it to top 100 week, so it’s just Josh carrying the torch for the two of them.

Josh struggled with his group, because they’re all better than him, so they learned the routine really quickly and went to bed, leaving him all alone.

The routine is ok, I suppose. It’s to a Mika song so it’s a bit Jazzy. For some reason most of the groups are split 4/1 along gender lines so all the performances end up being some variation of the 4 dancing around the 1 – which gets a bit Beyonce video, really.

Josh gets cut. He's witty and clever but not very good. The girls all make it through.

Next up is JD’s group – and we get JD’s sob story for the first time: he woke up when he was 4 to find his parents missing and then he got Australian parents who he thought were the tallest people on earth. I really wanna snark but the way he tells it, it’s kinda cute (the tall people thing, not the abandoned thing) and he gets points for not bringing it up in the Auditions.

Anyway, he's got a 4 guy/1 girl group and they're dancing contemporary to some slow thing. It's ... ok. Still ... it's four guys dancing around one girl and they each get a go getting all close-up with her while the others do some slow contempo stuff off to the side. JD does well, for a hip-hopper, but I'm more concerned about the red streak in Broadway Jack's hair. It ... totally kills him for me.

Matt says he's been called an ice-block because nothing moves him, but they moved him. Jason says JD was 100% the character he was playing and he could feel it and they could feel that ... in Adelaide, that's how strong the emotion was. I wonder about the poor people in Perth, who maybe couldn't feel it. Or Darwin. Cairns even. JD’s leaving out half the country here.

The girl in the group – Jemma - pipes up with 'JD was awesome and he's awesome and I loved dancing with him and all the guys'. Kelly says JD makes her cry, and they all get through.

Back from the break, Natalie is all breathy and recaps what's been happening, in case we missed it, which we didn’t so we don’t care.

Next group is Camilla and some boys, who are dancing to 'Express Yourself' by rather infamous gangsta rap godfathers NWA. The boys in her group decided on a hip hop routine. She's pissy. She's wearing a hood. She's badmouthing her group.

The routine is a bit ... cheesy. It reminds me of those wannabe b-boys you went to high-school with on Talent night.

Kelly asks who decided to do hip-hop – because, uh, well, apparently I’m the only person who hears ‘Express Yourself’ by NWA and immediately thinks ‘hip-hop’ (me and the boys in Camilla’s group, maybe). Camilla dobs in BJ and Carlo and says she thought there were too many cooks and she went into her hole. Bonnie asks her if she felt like she couldn't do as well as she should because of the choreo. She's all 'yeah, I said that to them. I said it was good but it's not 'that' (complete with hand motion) and then she tears up because she wanted 'that' (repeat hand motion) and she had to dance all hard and blah blah fishcakes. Maybe the boys voted her down but I didn't see much creative input from her into the routine so maybe she should just shut up and stop with the badmouthing the rest of her group?

Anyway, they all get through.

Next up, Henry's group. And he's got two girls and three boys and he's tired at 4.30 in the morning. And also has bad skin, it seems. We don't see much of their routine but it's sort of contempo with those Latinny hip-thrusty wiggly things. Gianne, Graeme and, of course, Henry get through. One of two random girls, Ellen, gets cut. The other random, Ella, goes through.

The next group obviously don't have anyone worthy of paying attention to – or maybe they all got on great or something - but they do a bog-standard hip-hop routine to Hook Me Up by The Veronicas. Jason cuts some girl I've never seen before who apparently entered the competition as his favourite - but not so favourite that they gave her any screen time. At the very end of his little spiel, he uses her name, so now I can cross ‘Eliza’ off my list … not that she was ever on it.

And I have to say that I'm loving that the judges like to use peoples names a lot, and not only that, but they don't mumble them. They say them clearly – so clearly that it’s almost like they want the people recapping at home actually get a name to write down, instead of just a vague description. Joy!

Which is what the rest of that group get to feel as they go through. Joy! Yay!

Next group is Anthony's. Their routine is … bippy. It features a cross-stage cartwheel-athon that Matt says reminds him of a Fizzy comp. Damn, I knew I was missing out when I wasn't allowed to do Fizzy.

Bonnie cuts a random pretty boy and doesn't give me his name. Everyone else gets through.

Next up - Michael's group. Remember Michael? He flubbed his first audition but got straight through to the top 100 based on his upper-body muscle definition, and ever since everyone’s been pretending that that obviously 40-something face belongs on someone 35 or under.

He choreographs a contemporary/hip/latin routine. But poor ballroom dancer Matthew - remember him, the one that didn’t want to be dragged down by his partner - is struggling with the different styles. Diddums.

The routine itself is to Bjorks 'Venus as a boy'. And let me just say, that while this is a bit of a homage (I'm being generous) to one of the US SYTYCD group dances, it's kinda cool. And it's actually costumed. And Michael is showing off that defined upper body, so I’m happy. That's a lovely six-pack.

Matt gets cut. Everyone watching cheers. He cries for the camera and we cheer a bit more. We would cheer even more if Michael – or random other from the group – asked that Matt’s performance not be judged in any way as indicative of the group as a whole, because he was obviously the weakest one. But no-one does.

Matt’s crying so Nat goes over to comfort him and MrL points out that it wouldn't be so bad to get cut on this show if you get a cuddle from the girl with the boobs. I slap him, and then look over and ... ew ... as Matt buries his face in Nat's shoulder and – the slime - he's actually grinning.

It's now 6.30pm and we're down to the last group, who are exhausted! Except that if you consider that all the groups got their songs presumably between about 11 and 11.30 last night, and then had to go back to the hotel, make up a routine and learn it to perform today, this group has had something like nine extra hours on the first group. That’s a whole nights sleep and then some, so while they’ve been here all day and they’re probably a little over it, I don’t really feel sorry for them.

The star of this segment is Samantha from Tasmania, which unfortunately means we get to see a recap of her original audition which she chose to do in a bra, undies and a full-length fishnet body stocking thing. It's about fifteen hundred different flavours of wrong, especially given she's dancing to some bad 80's metal track.

Anyway, they're doing a routine about death, because everyone in the group had a family member die recently. It's actually good and I have to say when Sermsah (who is in this group but surprising not the star of the piece) isn't having a pity party, he moves rather beautifully. Samantha, on the other hand, is clunky.

The judges love it. Sermsah gets through. Samantha gets cut.

And now 50 dancers remain. It's solo time. Natalie is telling us all dramatically that this is their last chance. They're all going to dance for their lives.

Which happens ... now. Yes. Fifty solos (or ... 48 solos and one duo) get squished into the space of exactly one minute and two seconds, to the tune of ‘Don’t Hold Back’ by The Potbelleez (who I hate … and not just because they pluralise with a Z). Not surprisingly, it's a montage of twists and turns and bendy bits and backflips. And then it's over. Ok. And half an hour into the show ... it's verdict time.

Is it just me or does it seem like giving an hour over to verdicts is a bit excessive? Really, they could have thought this out better and - I don't know - not done half the groups last night and half tonight, because that was just clunky, but just done them all tonight, or maybe even given the solo dances more than sixty two seconds of screentime?

Anyway ... everyone thinks it’s overnight deliberation time but no! There's a shock announcement and Nat reads out the names of 18 people who have to go back in and face the judges right away. The eighteen get spilt into two groups of nine. One group features Courtney, Rhys, Will and Nicki. The other features ... one of those three hip-hoppers from Cairns. Remember them? No. Me neither. Guess which group gets cut. No, go on - guess!

Some of those random cuttees get interviews, but I have no idea who they are, and they’ve been cut and so I don’t care.

And after the break: verdicts. Which begin with some rather stages arguing over polaroids. Just so we know this wasn’t an easy decision and the judges didn’t always agree

The verdicts themselves are delivered in this baig hall. Each dancer walks down a row of spotlights and gets to watch themselves dance on some big screens while awaiting their fate. While we wait, we get some interviews. Ooh. Some people are nervous. Some are excited. No, not predictable at all. Really.

And it begins: Csaba gets cut. Someone called Brenda who I have never ever ever seen before gets cut. A blonde ballet dancer called Andrew gets cut. BJ gets cut, and he's run out excuses so this time it sticks. He's learned a lot from the process, he says. Good.

Next up is Sermsah and he gets the full flashback treatment, from first Audition right through, so of course he gets into the Top 20. Which is awesome, really, because he seems to have found some confidence and it's adorable and when they tell him he cries and ... I wiffle a bit. Or, I would, if they hadn't chosen that DAMN JOHN MAYER SONG to celebrate with. It breaks me out of any emotion and just makes me a bit angry.

Kassie is next and she gets the full-flashback treatment too, complete with footage from home. Bonnie is all 'you come across really cold, if you want Australia to love you, you have to give them everything, and ... you didn't. *Pause* But you will do because you're through!!!' Nice fake-out Bonnie. If only the home footage hadn’t given you away.

Carlo is next. He gets full-flashback, including a touching scene with his sister. He's awesome. He's entertaining. Jason asks him if he thinks he can win. He says he can. Jason applauds his confidence and then cuts him. Harsh.

Stephanie and Henry get to go in together. Stephanie wants them both to have the same verdict - but I'm sure only if it's a yes. And it is. Aw. The Top 20 has ballroom.

After the break, more random interviews. Everyone is surprised by the results. Everyone is confused. Everyone is ... again ... predictable.

Next up Brendan and Jemma. Brendan's 35. He reminds us. They get a full-flashback too, but only Jemma gets through. And it's the first time I've really heard her speak and girlfriend sounds DUMB. She uses the word 'so' and 'like' more than ... me. And she's devastated for Brendan. Because he's old. He's 35. He doesn't get another chance. He's too old. It's so hard. He's so good, and he tried so hard, and it was his last shot. It's so sad. Blah. Shut up Jemma. Actually, it’s too late. I’ve heard to speak and it’s forever tainted you for me. Now all I see when I look at your face is dumb.

Khaly and his piercings get through. And when we see his solo, I get it. He's speechless. And now he explains that he has a stutter. I guess he forgot to bring that up BEFORE the verdict got read out, but I’m thinking he should have saved it for Australia. We love a good sub story.

Some other Stephanie who I've only seen in the odd ad gets cut. And then some girl called Rhiannon is up. I've not really seen her before. Bonnie thinks she's a bundle of trouble … for the rest of the dancers. Because she's in the top 20. Ok, Bonnie. 1 fake-out: ok. 2 fake-outs: we're catching on. Bonnie calls Rhiannon their little secret, and I assume they mean their secret from us, which is why she’s through to the Top 20 desipte me having no idea who she is.

I don't have any idea who Kate is either – and they do much in the way of explanation no either - but she's in the Top 20. Broadway Jack gets through too. And so does Camilla. Everyone cheers. Some blonde from South Australia is also through. I have to look her up because they didn’t give me her name. It’s Sarah. She’s the sole South Australian. Wasn’t the blonde South Australian from Idol last year also called Sarah?

After the break we get complaining about the waiting. It's after midnight. My idea: go home. No-one's forcing you to stay. Duh. In fact, the people next to you would probably be thrilled if you went home.

Then Anthony gets through and sommersaults out of the room in joy. Michael and his nice little muscles get the full-flashback treatment but he still gets cut and some guy who was awesome in Auditions then fell apart in Top 100 gets cut. Thank you Matt, for reminding me of his name when you cut him. See ya, Lucas.

Gianne then gets cut. And some other guy gets cut, and Jason doesn't give me his name, but he's cut, so who cares?

Hilton gets through after Bonnie's third fake-out for the night. This time it's the classic 'I'm sorry ..... but you're in the top 20' but it doesn’t really work because, you know Bonnie: 3 fake-out and you may as well just give up. His girlfriend Jess gets cut and he's SO nice about it and he carries her out into the carpark and it's so sweet ... Stupid show breaking up couples.

Is it bad that I keep wanting to call Hilton 'Cedric'?

After the break, Natalie proves she can't count by telling her there are only five boy spots left.

And JD gets one of them. Jason says he 'rocks'. Ok. Missing out in quick succession (or maybe I got bored) were Luke, Mack - which makes me unhappy because he seemed like a sweeeeeeeetie - Sid, some random unnamed Asian fellow in a baseball cap, and a random Asian girl who wasn't the ballerina with the annoying voice.

Demi is up next and she gets the full-flashback (minus Nicki, who it seems is no longer her girlfriend) and they put her in the top 20 by telling her to sign ‘I’m in the Top 20’ into the camera for her deaf sister. It’s actually really cute and I’m a little teary. Then they cut to Carlo waiting for her to come out. He hears her screaming and his face just … goes. It’s awesome. I’m a mess.

Or, I would be if I cried at this shit.

Then Graeme, Vanessa (the Asian Ballerina with the voice) and some random blonde guy who I have to later look up and whose name, for the record, is Marko get through.

And suddenly we’re down to our last two spots. It’s Will v Rhys and Nicki v Courtney. Good vs. Evil. Nasty vs. Nice. Arrogant vs. Less so. Fug vs just misguided. It’s … all … down … to … this.

First up, the boys. The judges ask Rhys what Will has that he doesn’t. Rhys says that Will can tap, and he can only pretend-tap. Then the judges ask Will what he has that Rhys doesn’t, and he says he’s more mature, then considers that that might sound arrogant, so adds that Rhys is still a good dancer and … has a wonderful personality. Huh? Anyway, Will gets cut and I cheer and whoop for a bit. Jaosn tells Rhys that he’s taken risks his whole life and he’s very brave and he goes against the grain and that takes strength and Rhys just tears up and then asks if he can hug all the judges. And it’s … aw. Sweet. Rhys can stay, so long as I never have to see that Green eyeshadow ever again.

And then it’s Courtney and Nicki. Courtney tells us that the two of them are different. And that they look different. Because television is apparently no longer a visual medium, I thank her for that. Anyway, because they obviously can’t let one as hated as Nicki go through, she gets cut, and while she tries to hide the scowl, she fails. At least she won’t be able to push Demi around this time to make herself feel better. Courtney cries. But I don’t.

So there you have it Australia: YOUR top 20, as voted by three and a half judges.

Anthony, Camilla, Courtney, Demi, Graeme, Henry, Hilton, JD, Jack, Jemma, Kassie, Kate, Khali, Marko, Rhiannon, Rhys, Sarah, Sermsah, Stephanie and Vanessa. W00t!

Next week: the real fun begins.

*Here's a hint, it's not that hard.