Thursday 7 February 2008

The SESA Mailbag

Dear Channel Nine,

Look, I know we haven't spoken in a while - you air a bunch of shows I don't watch. What can I say? Your purchasing decisions are dubious, and even when they're not, you treat your programs like playing cards, shuffling them around at will so we never know what we're going to get.

But I have to thank you (and I know you never expected that) for this past summer. You picked up where Channel Seven left of three long, hard years ago and brought Gordon back to our screens. And in a regular timeslot, too. It was awesome. That swearing. That Scottish brogue. The swearing. The 'holy cow, he's 38! Geez, cheffing is ROUGH!' exclamations. The useless restauranteurs and the pretentious chefs and an overuse of the words 'simple' and 'rustic' that made me weak at the knees.

And from what I read, Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares has been a bit of a cult hit for you this summer. Everyone's talking about it. And I'm really really really glad you're keeping it for the ratings season.

Or - should I say - I was.

Until I found out that you were going to start showing the American version.

Because seriously, here's the thing: There are five seasons of RKN (UK). You've been screening an eclectic mix of seasons two, three and sometimes four. You have plenty of UK awesomeness left to show us - believe me, I know.

So why are we suddenly getting the inferior US version? Without the Gordon voiceover? And with all the faux melodrama, the instant make-overs, the US Reality TV style showdowns? No-one likes the US version better, except maybe the odd American without a choice in the matter. No-one. It's LAME.

It's produced by Fox, FFS.

And i know, I shouldn't complain. Some Gordon is better than no Gordon. And I suppose I'll watch it.

But only if you promise that one day you will show me the last of those UK eps.

Pretty please?

Yours (between 9.30 and 10.30 on Thursdays, and at no other time ever),

Chesty LaRue

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6 Comments:

Blogger actonb said...

Channel 9 is never ever going to promise anything.

They suck.

And, although I get the Gordon love, and the Gordon stress, right now I'm more worried about what they're going to do to my beloved Pushing Daisies.

At least now you can D/L some Gordon ;)

7 February 2008 at 8:34 pm  
Blogger Jacob said...

I am disturbed by the I HEART CHANNEL NINE theme they're going for this year. It makes me feel like they've got a gun to my special area and are demanding that I sit and enjoy their line up of crappy dramas this year.

I don't know which station it's on, but Underbelly looks craa-ap.

8 February 2008 at 1:18 am  
Blogger Chesty LaRue said...

AB - True, true.

And ... I only got through the credits but it's so, so, so much worse than I thought. They have this bad bad horrible 'excitement music' and the voice-over guys is one of those rough-and-tough too-loud americans and it just made me cry ... so I taped it to watch in FF on the weekend.

Jacob - I thought the whole 'I heart' thing was their attempt to appeal to the l337 users of the interwebs, but a few years too late. And too sad, because we just know there's no irony.

Underbelly is ... Channel Nine! And yes, it looks crap. But it's their biggest show this year - so they've made the oh-so-wise decision of scheduling it for Wednesdays at 8.30

against House. Which is only the top-rating drama of the last two years.

It's like they WANT to fail!

And Monster House looks like it will take out the title of worlds worst TV show .... ever! Blah!

8 February 2008 at 7:18 am  
Blogger actonb said...

LaRue - world's worst 'ever'? That's a pretty big call...

8 February 2008 at 8:50 am  
Blogger gigglewick said...

I don't even understand Monster House.

But it couldn't be worse than whatever that thing is that Glenn Robbins is hosting.

8 February 2008 at 1:23 pm  
Blogger Jacob said...

Oh yeah, I caught a bit of that Glenn Robbins show while waiting for Family Guy and it seemed really forced. Plus it was really dumb. One of the guys on that panel thought that the Republican frontrunner in the US primaries was "Osama".

8 February 2008 at 3:22 pm  

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