SYTYCDA - The Interminable Auditions

Melbourne, home of hiphop and trams.

*insert obligatory pic of tram here*

Poor Melbs, it really is a stereotype isn't it? All that pressure to perform because you're the 'culture capital' of Australia...

And talking about pressure and stereotypes, first up we have David. He Asian. And a hip-hopper, no sorry, got to get this lingo right - he's a B-Boy. And his parents would really prefer he wasn't. They'd prefer him to study study study go to uni, get married, The End... see? stereotypes. Although I prefer the stereotyping to the interminable angst that will overcome us by the end of these auditions. Anyway David, like all those heroes of the days of yore, well, he just wants to dance! And dance he does, mostly power tricks, but y'know I thought that's what hip-hop was all about. Apparently not, as he gets sent to choreo.

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Courtney's some chick - she dances - and Jason is so all over her that he sends her to choreo and then just hands her a ticket to Sydney... cos she's cute? who knows...

I certainly don't - I'm distracted by the purple pleather jacket Bonnie's wearing. Distracted because when they arrived, she was wearing a royal blue denim-y skirt and jacket combo. I mean, the wardrobe choices here are woeful as it is, without throwing in continuity issues for me to deal with as well...

Anyway, distractions will have to be put aside for tonight's Sob Story #2 - Drumstick 'I play the drums and am skinny like a stick'. As far as I can tell he kinda dances like a stick too, but this only goes to prove yet again why I'm the recapper not the judge... or maybe it's just that I'm immune to hard luck stories - because Drumstick has a degenerative disease which has left him half deaf and half blind and marking time till he loses both sense all together. Look - I'm sad for the guy, but I don't have to agree that he dance, ok?

Hee! Melbourne's quirky street-theatre is given a shout-out by Melissa. She's a salmon. Obvs. And you know what? I liked her performance just fine. I thought Jason liked interpretative narratives??? Maybe he just doesn't do fish. Melissa's not for this competition apparently - she has other streams up which to swim...

The first real dummy spit of the season is CJ - Melbourne's male equivalent of Madonna. Apparently. He's so utterly deluded - dancing in jeans and socks, but still feels righteously indignant when he's told he doesn't cut it. Because dontacha know that the core of dance is letting spirit shine in physical form - and that's precisely what CJ showed us, but being philistines all we saw was a twat.

I can't even remember what style of dancing Rhys did - I was blinded by his pants, and therefore it was probably contemporary. He's obviously been shopping at the local safety store, and has some mad hi-viz trackies. He's going to be the envy of all the truckies I can tell. He gets through after choreo and we get a cute little shot of him telling his ultra-ocker snag-turning Dad about his ticket to Sydney.

Sob Stories parts 3 through 7 are manifest in the Sorono family from the Phillipines... Demi, Carlos and Lorraine all audition, as well as Demi's girlfriend Nikki. We get a lot of yadda yadda grew up in a straw hut, learned to dance with nothing, etc etc hand me another tissue. Pushing this sob story up to 11 is the fact that Lorraine is deaf and therefore can only feel the music if the bass is up really loud.

Gah!

Demi is quite good - I liked her energy and her vibe. She seemed to be really enjoying the dance. As did Lorraine, who considereing she can't actually hear the music, did a damn sight better than, say, I, would do... Not that that's actually saying anything, mind. Nikki was a little too aggressive in her krumping. Matt called her on it, wanting some light and shade... On No! Not the light and shade already???
But Carlo? Wow! He was awesome, pulling some great moves, and doing with a cheeky vibe. I liked it muchly. So, knowing how I feel about these things, the judges send him straight to Sydney. They send Lorraine home, Demi to choreo and Nikki to the loo.

After Matt's choreo round and the Track That Will Never Bloody End, Demi gets through, as do David, Drumstick and some random white guy. Poor random white guy. I hope you get all the way through to Top 4...

Day 2 and a girl in a net gets sent to Sydney. Now, I like these judges. I feel they have empathy and knowledge and are actually trying to judge the dancers rather than screech at them, but seriously, some of their decisions are a little bewildering... I'm hoping that it's just the editing process, because I just ain't getting it.

More damn hip-hop. Along with the odd judging decisions, I'm hoping that a few of the randoms being sent to Sydney are Not B-boys/girls... cos I'm getting over the hip hop. Sorry JD - I mean you were good, and there was most definitely light and shade and I recognise that it was different and all, but your routine kinda just slid off me. And I got an arrogant little vibe there too. We shall see...

Just to prove me wrong, next up is Ella, an indigenous ballet dancer. Why they have to make a point of her being indigenous I don't know... but she's an awesome dancer, graceful, elegant, and with some actual versatility - she'd done some hip hop classes as well. Now. Why don't they ask the B-boys whether they've done a few sneaky ballroom classes to prove their versatility hmmm????

Ooh! More diversity - a Samoan tapdog-esque stomper with a twist of hip-hop. Well, that was a refreshing change. Although the honing in on the 'human interest' angle - Mack has a baby! the baby is cute! We're giving Mack's baby his ticket to Sydney! is already getting stale.

Moving right along to my favourite part of the night - the Lindy Hoppers! Cathie and Kieran are awesome, and I'm not just saying that because I'm a SUCKER for the Lindy Hop. Na-uh. Even though it's the dance they dance in heaven. Just ask Chesty - she knows all about it.
Their Lindy Hop is bouncy and bright and Fun! Fun! Fun!
They still get sent to choreo though, and then drama! intrigue! Jason suggests they are going to have to split up, because it's a comp for soloists and he only has one ticket... dum dum dummmmmm.... yeah - they both get through.

Adelaide. And I've just realised that Adelaide's about to get 20 minutes of airtime. Ha! I guess
Audrey's right - South Australia IS eating it's young...

First up is Laura, another ballet dancer. She was good, she was cute with mucho pirouette and boches (?) balanceyness anyway... But, I ignored the dance and concentrated on her t-shirt. Covet covet covet. I want it.

It's at this point that my notes go, and I quote verbatim here:

now I'm over all these people with journeys and dead relatives.
It's a DANCE competeition, not a pity party...

Word! to me... It's just a bugger that these judges seem to be suckers for a sob story. And Ten wants to milk every. single. one of them.

We get 2 sisters, Tamara and Nikki, both dancing to Spanish-flavoured music, but one of them doing it a hell of a lot better than the other. Sob Story angle? Why, they're sisters connecting through dance... They both get through after Nikki does the choreo, and we know it's going to happen anyway so there can be tears and hugs and all the thing Ten loves...

There's also a gold quote from Jason, proving why he's a dancer and not a, I dunno? recapper? Anway - he describes someone as winning a blue ribbon Pulitzer Prize... that'd be in the ever so famous Krufts/Columbia dancing competition then...

Verdict: Second episode precisely 46% crappier than the first, but that's solely due to the Sob Story count. Nat was also kinda invisible. At least according to my notes.