So you think you can defy Nigel?
Golly, but the Channel Ten gibbons need to go to remedial editing school. Honestly! How hard can it be to actually have some logical sequencing going on here...?
Anyway, straight into the group dance and I don't know how choreo'd it because I was pretty much all, 'yeah yeah it's on next, I can paff about for a little while before it starts.. Oh crap, Oh crap, turn the damn recorder on Waaah!' But I'm seriously hoping it wasnt my darling Wade Robson becasue it did nothing for me and all I could think about was The Lion King, but like, without the giant giraffe heads...
And Elton John, because Freud would have field day with me.
Cat enters Stage Left, just proving once and for all that she can indeed look gorgeous dressed only in a garbage bag.
read the rest
Our jidges this week Nigel, Mary and 'Dance Legend' Debbie Allen who has condescended to judge the competition for one week only... And I'm guessing this is all very exciting, based solely on the scream factor. Well that and Cat's wrinkly-nosed admission of fangirlyness.
She's all, 'This competiton is so fantastic because blahdy blah dance vocabulary is expanding - both for the dancers and the audience' and I really must put in a stuatory warning here:
This episode should not be viewed by those who are easily upset by increasingly wankful dance terminology.
Or those who are averse to gratutitous displays of middle-aged decolletage.
Mary is impressed with Dominic and gets hersef all hot and bothered trying to justify it in respectable dance-speak. She fails dismally.
Sara and Jesús are first up, breaking out a bit of krumping action.
Their little famewhore-packages this week are all about their ambitions. Heh.
Sara has just graduated with a Bachelor of Jouralism and actually really wants to work as a freelance journalist doing PR and other articles on .... dance. See. She kinda had me there, I was all impressed thinking she was going to use her powers for good, but sadly no.
Jesús wants to spend his life helping children in need... he'd been helped through dance school by his whole community and now he wants to pay it forward. Yes he actually says it with a straight face.
Lil'C, one of the originators of krumping is choreo-ing them, and... apparently it's 'evolving' which means it's not Hard Core anymore, but just like hiphop. With pirouettes. Sara rocks it, and Jesús wears the attitude but gives the whole dance a fluidity that I don't think is suppposed to be there. I thought krumping was all about the staccato movements, but what would I know?
The judges are really impressed, especially milk-fed Nigel who admits to be scared of Krumping. hmmm. They really are a soppy lot aren't they?
And now for something completely different, Shauna apparently wants to be a techno singer - she sings all day and falls asleep listening to techno which sounds a little obsessive to me, but I guess she's dedicated to the cause. Cedric, on the other hand, wants to build toys and have a toy company. Because he has ideas for awesome bendy toys so he can, everyone join in now! - Help the Kids!
They're doing a contemp routine by Mia Mullet Michaels, who is described breathlessly as, among other things, tapping into their guts, an organic teacher, being from a different realm... And these are all good things. See? I told you that warning was necessary.
She's choreo'd a routine celebrating goodbyes, and Cedric and Shauna spend half of their rehearsal throwing themselves on the floor. For reals!
It's OK I guess - lots of running around looking anguished. Even a nice extended period where Cedric is seriously sitting in the corner pretending to cry. He doesn't even try to dance any style other than his own, and Mia is just a dirty great organic enabler for creating a routine that doesn't challenge him AT ALL. Shauna's great, but she has to carry the entire routine. And, y'know, do like heaps of running around. And leaping on and off the stage.
Debbie Allen proclaims something about the soul and spirit of a dancer, Mia's in tears, it's all just so emotional...
Until Mary earns my undying devotion by bluntly saying that Cedric has shown no growth whatsoever and doesn't desrve to stay in the competetion any longer. I'm gobsmacked. She had not one nice word to say to him and amazingly he responded in the most gracious way possible. He talks about how he believes he was put on the show by God. To be an inspirtaion to The Kids. To teach them that they can't live in their basement and dance by themselves. Because they can never know when they'll be in a situation where they may need to dance in a diferent style... And that all The Kids need to keep going to Dance Class. It was heartfelt and powerfully delivered, but unfortunately made precisely No Sense AT ALL. But for his efforts he gets a scholarship to the Debbie Allen Academy, which makes his day, so I guess everything will turn out for the best.
Urgh. It's Lacey and Kameron up next. Sorry, but I just don't get the love for this couple. They annoy the crap out of me. And their lifelong ambitions make me want to slap someone or something very hard indeed. Becasue Lacey, well, she just wants to make people happy through dance. And Kameron - he wants to be supproteive of Kid's dreams. It's like they've all taken career advice from Miss Universe.
Anyhow, they're doing the Quick Step and Kameron ends up strapped into a medieval torture device. It somewhat resembles a deformed ab curler and is supposed to help him to keep his 'frame'. I'm a little cheered because as far as I'm concerned, any pain is good pain if it's inflicted on this couple.
I'll grudgingly admit that the dance is actually quite awesome, all 1920s flapper style. And Lacey's in the first sparkley dress of the evening, so I'm a happy camper.
The judges add nothing to my considered critique, other than to point out that the Quick Step is traditionally known as The Kiss Of Death. Y'all knew that, right?
Anya and Danny attempting hip hop should be interesting, even if it is choreo'd by Dan Karaty. Apparently Anya wants to run an animal shleter, becasue she looves pets. Gives The Kids a break I guess. While Danny surprises no-one by declaring that he wants to work in production - movies, TV, theatre - before or behind the camera - he doesn't care, he just wants to entertain...
I quite like the routine - it starts off with some noice air piano, and even though Anya doesn't quite stay in step with Danny, she pulls it off. And I love how they use all of the stage, even the buffery bits supposed to stop them falling off when they're attempting a particular dramatic contemp dance.
Debbie Allen calls them The Dream Team and declares that Danny is just like a Matinee Idol. This provokes a display of hip thrusting from him that is thoroughly vomit-inducing. Ewwwwwww.
No really. It's that bad.
Ewwwwwwwwwwww.
Time for Sabra and Dominic to do their rumba. Dominic's ambition is apparently to do head spins while totally naked. Heee. Although, ewww.. Just picture that for one second and realise that gravity would NOT be his friend. Sabra however wants tobe a stand up comdeian. And meet Ellen DeGeneres... She thinks she's funny but sadly other people don't seem to think so. Poor Lamb.
Their Rumba is being choreo'd by the little French Candian Jean Marc Genereaux who raves about it being about passion. Which is what he says for every single ballroom dance that they do. It all about bloody passion. Sheesh!
Anyway... it rocks. My notes read awwwww..... so sweettt...... and I was doing hand claps all the way through. It was truly delightful.
Mary agrees and hands out tickets for the hot tamale train. And adds a MegaScream and a head shaking. She thought it was delightful too, obvs.
Are Lauren and Neil going to be catching a ride on that train? They're doing the tango, so I guess anything's possible. Although Lauren is pushing it by declaring she wants to be in Nasa, be in space, and when she's finished being a dancer she's going to go and study being in space. Okkkkaaaay. Step away from Mia Michaels, Lauren, step away from the madwoman and her contagion... Neil, he's so much more focused. He wants to be able to sing and act as well as he can dance - becasue he wants to be in movies or on broadway, anywhere he can entertain people. He's doing a pretty good job of keeping me entertained so far, witnessing his self-delusion.
They keep talking about that elusive 'chemistry' that they need, and Lauren admits to having had a blast working on him, ooops, sorry, working WITH him. Looks like Freud has his owrk cut out for him today!
Their tango is actually pretty forgettable. Maybe it was the lack of leg being shown, or the lack of chemistry... who knows? But the shot of the stony-faced audience made me think it wasn't just me... hee!
Mega Yayness! It's time for Hok and Jaimie to do a jazz routine.
Hok is torn between his dancing and his art - he does painting and graphic design. Two of his grandparents were artists, and it's what he's studying. And some of his stuff is pretty damn good. For my totally objective perespective. Jaimie's dead mom was a writer and she wants to write a book about her. Which is nice. I guess. But not nearly as interesting as Hok...
And I can die happy because it's going to be a Wade Robson routine! woohoooooo! It's a love story, a ballet even... between a hummingbird and a flower. Well obviously. I mean, why not?
And you know what's even awesomer than the overall awesomeness?
Jazz hands!!!!
Hok gets to do genuine hummingbirdy jazz hands!!!!!!
And Jaimie gets do do some genuine spiky-haired flowery stuff that give me cramps just loking at her.
The judges get all excited, calling Wade a genius, and deciding that they can't possibly critique the routine as it displayed their essence as dancers... hmmm... All this is getting a little much even for me, as driver of the Hok Love Train.
Last but not least, we have Pasha & Jessi doing the Cha Cha Cha.
Or do we???????
Pasha talks about his family in Russia, but I was too busy arguing with Miss M about why Jessi sucks to pay much attention to him. Jessi does an awesome job of simply proving why she sucks by stating her ambition to become Judy Garland... or a sheep. Either/Or really.
And then she does the mouthed 'vote for us' to camera and says that they'll do whatever it takes to get votes - whether Pasha has to take his shirt off (not that I can think of anyone who would mind that, to be honest) or she has to shake her hair around... or y'know, just flash Nigel again.
And then Drama!!!! Jessi gets chest pains and has trouble breathing and is promptly carted off to hospital by a bunch of firemen (confusing I know). She's ordered to rest by the doctors so Pasha has to dance with Bette Midler instead.
I get the feeling he's not bothered... but that may just be wishful thinking...
He's ultra ultra ultra awesome, all muscley arms (from hefting around his buxom partner) and strutting around. Swoon!
Results Show:
The first two couples come out - Lauren & Neil and Lacey & Kameron. It's someone's birthday but I miss it becasue I'm too busy mocking Miss M's choice of favourite. That child has NO taste.
Thankfully Cat cuts down on the endlessfiller suspense this week and gives the results straight up - Lacey and Kameron are safe, and get hustled off the stage pronto.
Of the next three couples, Jaimie and Hok are safe, as are Sabra and Dominic, but Sara and Jesús will have to DFTL*. Everyone is rushed off the stage again, and Cat is getting a little stressed trying to keep this show on what is obviously a very tight schedule.
Mainly because of Jessi who is suddenly able to dance again. She'll be dancing a solo because she failed to dance the night before... Apparently she got dehydrated... Is that it? Dancing is her life and she forgot to keep hydrated???? Hmmm. I'm getting severe 'princess' vibes here.
Anyway, thankfully Pasha is safe! And amazingly enough, so are Cedric and Shauna! Mary's frank assessment of his talent must have prompted a tide of sympathy votes. Bugger about that! Which means that Anya and Danny are the final couple in the Bottom Three, and don't they look surprised at the situation!
The solos are 30 seconds right? So why does Lauren spend most of her time coming down the stairs and taking off her jacket? More entitlement issues here I suspect. Her remaining 10 seconds are ok though...
Neil however spends 95% of his 30 seconds suspended in midair! It was a mad mad pirouette city...
Sara doesn't take anythign for granted and just rocks out. As does her partner Jesús - dancing to 'What i like about you' complete with air guitar!
In an amazing turn of events Jessi appears on stage completely clothed, and does some uninspired breakdancey stuff.
Whereas Danny gives us a dramatic demonstration of his classical training, with yet more pirouettes!
I can't remember much of Anya's dance, seeing as I was mesmerised by the neon blue fetheryness of her dress.
And the less said about Fergie the better, don't we agree?
The judges are wearing their cranky pants tonight, declaring that none of the girls were good enough, none of them took their solo seriously, before bluntly telling Jessi that she is going. fullstop. no discussion. No mention of the other dancers.
She's shocked, but petulant. Refuses to say anything other than that she'll miss Pasha. She pulls an almighty bitchface and stomps off in a huff, pretty much.
Which is a total contrast to the guys, where Neil and Danny are applauded as being totally and utterly awesome, leaving Jesús as only mostly awesome and therefore the one going home.
He gives a lovely, gracious, grateful speech... hoping that he can continue to help kids realise their dreams... aww. see Jessi? That's what being a performer is all about.
*DFTL - Dancing For Their Lives. obvs. I'm getting so sick of writing it...
Anyway, straight into the group dance and I don't know how choreo'd it because I was pretty much all, 'yeah yeah it's on next, I can paff about for a little while before it starts.. Oh crap, Oh crap, turn the damn recorder on Waaah!' But I'm seriously hoping it wasnt my darling Wade Robson becasue it did nothing for me and all I could think about was The Lion King, but like, without the giant giraffe heads...
And Elton John, because Freud would have field day with me.
Cat enters Stage Left, just proving once and for all that she can indeed look gorgeous dressed only in a garbage bag.
read the rest
Our jidges this week Nigel, Mary and 'Dance Legend' Debbie Allen who has condescended to judge the competition for one week only... And I'm guessing this is all very exciting, based solely on the scream factor. Well that and Cat's wrinkly-nosed admission of fangirlyness.
She's all, 'This competiton is so fantastic because blahdy blah dance vocabulary is expanding - both for the dancers and the audience' and I really must put in a stuatory warning here:
This episode should not be viewed by those who are easily upset by increasingly wankful dance terminology.
Or those who are averse to gratutitous displays of middle-aged decolletage.
Mary is impressed with Dominic and gets hersef all hot and bothered trying to justify it in respectable dance-speak. She fails dismally.
Sara and Jesús are first up, breaking out a bit of krumping action.
Their little famewhore-packages this week are all about their ambitions. Heh.
Sara has just graduated with a Bachelor of Jouralism and actually really wants to work as a freelance journalist doing PR and other articles on .... dance. See. She kinda had me there, I was all impressed thinking she was going to use her powers for good, but sadly no.
Jesús wants to spend his life helping children in need... he'd been helped through dance school by his whole community and now he wants to pay it forward. Yes he actually says it with a straight face.
Lil'C, one of the originators of krumping is choreo-ing them, and... apparently it's 'evolving' which means it's not Hard Core anymore, but just like hiphop. With pirouettes. Sara rocks it, and Jesús wears the attitude but gives the whole dance a fluidity that I don't think is suppposed to be there. I thought krumping was all about the staccato movements, but what would I know?
The judges are really impressed, especially milk-fed Nigel who admits to be scared of Krumping. hmmm. They really are a soppy lot aren't they?
And now for something completely different, Shauna apparently wants to be a techno singer - she sings all day and falls asleep listening to techno which sounds a little obsessive to me, but I guess she's dedicated to the cause. Cedric, on the other hand, wants to build toys and have a toy company. Because he has ideas for awesome bendy toys so he can, everyone join in now! - Help the Kids!
They're doing a contemp routine by Mia Mullet Michaels, who is described breathlessly as, among other things, tapping into their guts, an organic teacher, being from a different realm... And these are all good things. See? I told you that warning was necessary.
She's choreo'd a routine celebrating goodbyes, and Cedric and Shauna spend half of their rehearsal throwing themselves on the floor. For reals!
It's OK I guess - lots of running around looking anguished. Even a nice extended period where Cedric is seriously sitting in the corner pretending to cry. He doesn't even try to dance any style other than his own, and Mia is just a dirty great organic enabler for creating a routine that doesn't challenge him AT ALL. Shauna's great, but she has to carry the entire routine. And, y'know, do like heaps of running around. And leaping on and off the stage.
Debbie Allen proclaims something about the soul and spirit of a dancer, Mia's in tears, it's all just so emotional...
Until Mary earns my undying devotion by bluntly saying that Cedric has shown no growth whatsoever and doesn't desrve to stay in the competetion any longer. I'm gobsmacked. She had not one nice word to say to him and amazingly he responded in the most gracious way possible. He talks about how he believes he was put on the show by God. To be an inspirtaion to The Kids. To teach them that they can't live in their basement and dance by themselves. Because they can never know when they'll be in a situation where they may need to dance in a diferent style... And that all The Kids need to keep going to Dance Class. It was heartfelt and powerfully delivered, but unfortunately made precisely No Sense AT ALL. But for his efforts he gets a scholarship to the Debbie Allen Academy, which makes his day, so I guess everything will turn out for the best.
Urgh. It's Lacey and Kameron up next. Sorry, but I just don't get the love for this couple. They annoy the crap out of me. And their lifelong ambitions make me want to slap someone or something very hard indeed. Becasue Lacey, well, she just wants to make people happy through dance. And Kameron - he wants to be supproteive of Kid's dreams. It's like they've all taken career advice from Miss Universe.
Anyhow, they're doing the Quick Step and Kameron ends up strapped into a medieval torture device. It somewhat resembles a deformed ab curler and is supposed to help him to keep his 'frame'. I'm a little cheered because as far as I'm concerned, any pain is good pain if it's inflicted on this couple.
I'll grudgingly admit that the dance is actually quite awesome, all 1920s flapper style. And Lacey's in the first sparkley dress of the evening, so I'm a happy camper.
The judges add nothing to my considered critique, other than to point out that the Quick Step is traditionally known as The Kiss Of Death. Y'all knew that, right?
Anya and Danny attempting hip hop should be interesting, even if it is choreo'd by Dan Karaty. Apparently Anya wants to run an animal shleter, becasue she looves pets. Gives The Kids a break I guess. While Danny surprises no-one by declaring that he wants to work in production - movies, TV, theatre - before or behind the camera - he doesn't care, he just wants to entertain...
I quite like the routine - it starts off with some noice air piano, and even though Anya doesn't quite stay in step with Danny, she pulls it off. And I love how they use all of the stage, even the buffery bits supposed to stop them falling off when they're attempting a particular dramatic contemp dance.
Debbie Allen calls them The Dream Team and declares that Danny is just like a Matinee Idol. This provokes a display of hip thrusting from him that is thoroughly vomit-inducing. Ewwwwwww.
No really. It's that bad.
Ewwwwwwwwwwww.
Time for Sabra and Dominic to do their rumba. Dominic's ambition is apparently to do head spins while totally naked. Heee. Although, ewww.. Just picture that for one second and realise that gravity would NOT be his friend. Sabra however wants tobe a stand up comdeian. And meet Ellen DeGeneres... She thinks she's funny but sadly other people don't seem to think so. Poor Lamb.
Their Rumba is being choreo'd by the little French Candian Jean Marc Genereaux who raves about it being about passion. Which is what he says for every single ballroom dance that they do. It all about bloody passion. Sheesh!
Anyway... it rocks. My notes read awwwww..... so sweettt...... and I was doing hand claps all the way through. It was truly delightful.
Mary agrees and hands out tickets for the hot tamale train. And adds a MegaScream and a head shaking. She thought it was delightful too, obvs.
Are Lauren and Neil going to be catching a ride on that train? They're doing the tango, so I guess anything's possible. Although Lauren is pushing it by declaring she wants to be in Nasa, be in space, and when she's finished being a dancer she's going to go and study being in space. Okkkkaaaay. Step away from Mia Michaels, Lauren, step away from the madwoman and her contagion... Neil, he's so much more focused. He wants to be able to sing and act as well as he can dance - becasue he wants to be in movies or on broadway, anywhere he can entertain people. He's doing a pretty good job of keeping me entertained so far, witnessing his self-delusion.
They keep talking about that elusive 'chemistry' that they need, and Lauren admits to having had a blast working on him, ooops, sorry, working WITH him. Looks like Freud has his owrk cut out for him today!
Their tango is actually pretty forgettable. Maybe it was the lack of leg being shown, or the lack of chemistry... who knows? But the shot of the stony-faced audience made me think it wasn't just me... hee!
Mega Yayness! It's time for Hok and Jaimie to do a jazz routine.
Hok is torn between his dancing and his art - he does painting and graphic design. Two of his grandparents were artists, and it's what he's studying. And some of his stuff is pretty damn good. For my totally objective perespective. Jaimie's dead mom was a writer and she wants to write a book about her. Which is nice. I guess. But not nearly as interesting as Hok...
And I can die happy because it's going to be a Wade Robson routine! woohoooooo! It's a love story, a ballet even... between a hummingbird and a flower. Well obviously. I mean, why not?
And you know what's even awesomer than the overall awesomeness?
Jazz hands!!!!
Hok gets to do genuine hummingbirdy jazz hands!!!!!!
And Jaimie gets do do some genuine spiky-haired flowery stuff that give me cramps just loking at her.
The judges get all excited, calling Wade a genius, and deciding that they can't possibly critique the routine as it displayed their essence as dancers... hmmm... All this is getting a little much even for me, as driver of the Hok Love Train.
Last but not least, we have Pasha & Jessi doing the Cha Cha Cha.
Or do we???????
Pasha talks about his family in Russia, but I was too busy arguing with Miss M about why Jessi sucks to pay much attention to him. Jessi does an awesome job of simply proving why she sucks by stating her ambition to become Judy Garland... or a sheep. Either/Or really.
And then she does the mouthed 'vote for us' to camera and says that they'll do whatever it takes to get votes - whether Pasha has to take his shirt off (not that I can think of anyone who would mind that, to be honest) or she has to shake her hair around... or y'know, just flash Nigel again.
And then Drama!!!! Jessi gets chest pains and has trouble breathing and is promptly carted off to hospital by a bunch of firemen (confusing I know). She's ordered to rest by the doctors so Pasha has to dance with Bette Midler instead.
I get the feeling he's not bothered... but that may just be wishful thinking...
He's ultra ultra ultra awesome, all muscley arms (from hefting around his buxom partner) and strutting around. Swoon!
Results Show:
The first two couples come out - Lauren & Neil and Lacey & Kameron. It's someone's birthday but I miss it becasue I'm too busy mocking Miss M's choice of favourite. That child has NO taste.
Thankfully Cat cuts down on the endless
Of the next three couples, Jaimie and Hok are safe, as are Sabra and Dominic, but Sara and Jesús will have to DFTL*. Everyone is rushed off the stage again, and Cat is getting a little stressed trying to keep this show on what is obviously a very tight schedule.
Mainly because of Jessi who is suddenly able to dance again. She'll be dancing a solo because she failed to dance the night before... Apparently she got dehydrated... Is that it? Dancing is her life and she forgot to keep hydrated???? Hmmm. I'm getting severe 'princess' vibes here.
Anyway, thankfully Pasha is safe! And amazingly enough, so are Cedric and Shauna! Mary's frank assessment of his talent must have prompted a tide of sympathy votes. Bugger about that! Which means that Anya and Danny are the final couple in the Bottom Three, and don't they look surprised at the situation!
The solos are 30 seconds right? So why does Lauren spend most of her time coming down the stairs and taking off her jacket? More entitlement issues here I suspect. Her remaining 10 seconds are ok though...
Neil however spends 95% of his 30 seconds suspended in midair! It was a mad mad pirouette city...
Sara doesn't take anythign for granted and just rocks out. As does her partner Jesús - dancing to 'What i like about you' complete with air guitar!
In an amazing turn of events Jessi appears on stage completely clothed, and does some uninspired breakdancey stuff.
Whereas Danny gives us a dramatic demonstration of his classical training, with yet more pirouettes!
I can't remember much of Anya's dance, seeing as I was mesmerised by the neon blue fetheryness of her dress.
And the less said about Fergie the better, don't we agree?
The judges are wearing their cranky pants tonight, declaring that none of the girls were good enough, none of them took their solo seriously, before bluntly telling Jessi that she is going. fullstop. no discussion. No mention of the other dancers.
She's shocked, but petulant. Refuses to say anything other than that she'll miss Pasha. She pulls an almighty bitchface and stomps off in a huff, pretty much.
Which is a total contrast to the guys, where Neil and Danny are applauded as being totally and utterly awesome, leaving Jesús as only mostly awesome and therefore the one going home.
He gives a lovely, gracious, grateful speech... hoping that he can continue to help kids realise their dreams... aww. see Jessi? That's what being a performer is all about.
*DFTL - Dancing For Their Lives. obvs. I'm getting so sick of writing it...
Labels: SYTYCD
posted by actonb at
9:06 am
4 Comments:
Is it me or are some of thier egos getting bigger every week?
As for the woman who danced with Pasha on the show....EEEWWW I was peaking through fingers as I needed Pasha cuteness but that woman...OOOOH.
I actually saw some of this MsB (while waiting for a phone call).
I thought Mia Michaels routine was av. And I would be crying too, if I were her.
Also I think that crowd would boo the judges if they gave ME a hard time for my dancing ability (not that they ever would), honestly that is the most hyped-up bunch of crazy mob I've seen since the Salem Witch Trials.
I'm with GW. That Mia routine was shite. And I haven't been watching this with an expert view or anything but what's the point of taking a weak dancer and just going 'you go sit in the corner'? Sure, he's not great, but why not work with him and challenge him and see what he can do?
(I'm not on the Cedric hate train)
I am standing at the station watching the Mia Michaels hate train going past - I lurrrrvve her. But Cedric is weak and should have been gone last week.
I do love SYTYCD but there is no bitchiness between the dancers and a little too much love. A few trips and pushing others over would improve the television entertainment I think.
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