So You Think You Can Last 2 hrs 12 Mins of Recap?
We're in for the long haul here my friends, over 2 hours of auditioning madness, I do so hope you can endure it...
LA
Hee - hopefuls queued around an entire block - over a mile of stretching, breaking, bopping tryhards being pestered by a gorgeous Cat. Who appears to have slept in, jumped out of bed, thrown on her skinny jeans and shortie dressing gown, and dashed down to auditions.
Nice dressing gown though, I'll give her that.
Nigel and Screaming Mary Murphy are present and correct and they are joined by Wade Robson . He's choreo'd Brittney and N'Snyc and that's apparently supposed to impress me. I'm much more impressed that he did the Rammalama (?) routine from S2's finale - the Zombie one that rocked in so many ways.
I'm also perturbed by the fact that Mary seems to have been styled by someone who thinks Mother-of-the-Bride is so hott right now. I don't get it. It's all short jackets and embroidery and satin and as The Fug Girls have been trying to get us to understand for months now - Satin is Not Your Friend.
And we're in to it.
Lauren - does some contemp in knee-high socks. The judges salivate - nice lines blahdy blah and she goes straight to Vegas.
Olivia - Here we have our contractual sob story. Poor baby grew up dancing as her mother owns a dance studio, then she got 'skin' problems and had to go on kick-arse medication which stuffed up her liver. So she stopped dancing which broke her mom's heart. The Mommy found a lump in breast and Our Libby being the dutiful daughter asks "what can I do?"... Mommy Dearest wants her baby to audition for SYTYCD. Not sit by her bedside feeding her grapes, not research alternative cancer therapies. No. She wants to see her baby onstage again.
She does OK. It's very tortured and melodramatic, or as Mary puts it 'overdanced' and for once she makes sense... She bursts into tears. Again. Man this chick spends a lot of time crying... She goes through the choreo round then is off to Vegas which prompts more waterworks. Blah. You do see the teeniest spark of arrogance as she leaves the theatre though. Just enough to make me hate her even more.
Then we have 'EJ' - a 120kg man-in-tights. And a belly shirt. Yes, it's that unpleasant. He then proceeds to do some Madonna -esque writhing on the floor before pulling out some surprisingly agile pirouettes and splits. He's given a standing ovation by the other auditionees but Nigel calls it patronising. Which it is. He tells EJ to keep dancing because it's good for his health - bwah! Talk about patronising! And then we get a montage of skinny hipsters all cranky because Nigel called someone fat, which isn't nice apparently. The only person who doesn't care is the very sunny EJ. Awww...
Patronising is the theme of the day as we meet Kurt & Dia, ballroom couple. They're good but must have met at some alternative therapy class as he has hiccuped constantly for the last 7 years and she has a nervous tick which manifests itself in a wink of truly Benny Hill proportions. It's bizarre to watch and all the judges just lose it trying to critique them... but they get through to Vegas, sadly never to be seen again.
Oooh. It's LA and so we must have some breakers and b-boys... woohoo, I do love these guys.
Hok - He's got the most bizarre hairstyle on the planet, all shaved and plaits and dreadlocky-bits. Also he's Japanese but with the cutest English accent. I just want to take him home and put him in the rabbit hutch he's so adorable! He'd been through to Vegas last season, but only having student visa meant he couldn't continue. But he's back and he's so damn good. Balancing on his fingertips one minute, doing a retro robot dance the next. Just awesome.
Then we get treated to a fabulous Breakers and B-boys montage and I'm a happy little Vegemite.
Suddenly heeerre's Benji! 2007 is the turning into quite the year of the Little Sister as Lacey Schwimmer joins Faina Savich in the 'Following in one's Brother's Footsteps' Foxtrot. She's Benji's 18 year old sister and is the national youth Swing and Latin champion. And yeah, she's a little mini-me of Benji, right down to the camp facial expressions. Totally off-putting. They shitted me on Benji, but they just make her look like an arrogant little prima donna. Am also freaked out when I realise she's the spitting image of Heidi (their cousin, also finalist last year) but with black hair. It's just all too ewwww for me.
Phew! LA and it's poseurs over it's off to
Chicago
With my main man Shane *swoon* Sparks.
And we get treated to the most awesome display of popping, like ever! Phillip just keeps going and going with classic popping and he has Shane mesmerised. And anything that makes Shane happy makes me happy.
And to make me even happier, next up are Eva and Michael. They're Lindy Hoppers, which is kinda like a mixture of Jive and Charleston and old-fashioned fun-looking dancing. They rock. They go through. Woo.
CSS* #2 - Janet Bombard. Completely harmless. (that'd be the Contractual Amputee Joke) She does a contemp routine which I swear looks just like either a) a really witty and clever parody of contemp or b) she's channeling a primary school concert. It's lucky I ain't a judge because apparently she was an amazing performer and they put her through to Vegas. Which makes me think: if ever I want to audition for this show, I need to be involved in a car accident and have an arm severed because the judges are really really lenient on you...
Apparently X number of people get through from Chicago but I seriously must have dozed off... sorry!
Next stop:
Atlanta
Mary's stylist is still playing a really nasty joke on her, but Shane's still around so I have eyes for no-one but him. *sigh*
And some guy is doing lots of lying on the floor. It makes no sense to me but Shane thinks he's the best example of a break dancer/ hip-popper that he's seen. Honey, you're losing me here... I just saw lots of artistic throwing himself on the ground. Isn't that the contemp thang? So confused...
But lo! Our first (and only) appearance from an authentic southern redneck (but he's so sweet I'll forgive him his atrocious dental work). Brandon does a bamboozling mash-up of clogging and booty-shaking. Even the judges are perplexed, but that may just have been the sight of so many teeth, so many angles, so little space.
I need to ask a question here: what the hell is the difference between tap-dancing and clogging? And no, Google is broken today so I can't look it up myself. I mean if they were dancing in these,
it would makes sense. But they're not. I feel a call to the Fair Trading Dept is in order. Ripped off!
And we come to the feel-good segment of tonight's show. Introducing Brian Gaynor, a computer science major who suffers from scoliosis. His popping routine is so sweet, so well executed, so damn perfect that it has Shane in tears... Don't we all love a man who can cry? Anyway, everyone recognises that Brian ain't going to be going to Vegas, but Shane promises to cast him in his next movie. And that makes Brian very happy, indeed, it makes us all very happy.
Talking about happy, there's one Dad out there who is NOT happy at all about the fact that his All American Quarterback son decided to toss it all in and become a ballet dancer! Miles broke his leg after playing football all the way to the last year of High School and took ballet classes after someone recommended it as therapy to strengthen his leg muscles. He loved it so much he ditched the football and picked up the leggings and My Goodness I have not seen a more tense interview between a man and his son in a long time. Ha! After 8 months of lessons Miles gets sent to Vegas - that's got to be the sweetest revenge!
Finally... Vegas!
Blah Blah "Hardest week of your life" witters Nigel. Oh for goodness sake, get ON with it. I need to get this thing finished!
And Mia Michaels joins the panel. This woman freaks me out - I swear she exists in a parallel universe... or, as one of the lab rats enthuses 'She brings irrationality from the stars to physicality' Yeah. That's what I said. Mad as bag of cut snakes.
The entire cast of thousands is onstage learning some Shane Sparks choreography. They get an hour to learn and rehearse then they dance. They have to get 3 votes to stay in, 2 votes means they have to 'dance for their life' in their individual style. 1 vote and they're going home.
Is it just me, or does the term 'dance for your life' (and it is used literally every 2 seconds for the remainder of this ep) conjure up the image of Nigel and a machine gun pointed at their feet. "Dance you suckers! Dance! Dance for your lives! mwuhahaha!"
One can but hope...
First round: Miles is out, poor lamb. He heads home to deal with his Daddy Issues. As are heaps of others, causing wails and moans and gnashing of teeth from the dancers "You don't understand how hard this is... it's not fair... yada yada yada"
Next round: It's time to submit to Mia the Merciless. Another hour to learn and rehearse a contemp routine that has been plucked from outerspace and interpreted by a fruitloop. Good Luck with that guys...
Favourite quote of the entire season goes to Shane - "But I don't know who's doing it good!" when asked to judge the contemporary dancing. Neither do we Honey, neither do we...
And in gorgeous circle-jerky fashion, the little Mia-fan who provided the 'Irrationality' quote, Ricky, dances the routine in such a way as to inspire a breathless 'He's amazing!' I luurrve him' from Mia. Spew.
Unsurprisingly the breakers don't do so well and have to do their thang, which treats us to another display of awesomeness so, y'know, we're all winners. At least we are until Jamahl decides to do a spot of tap-dancing. In socks. Despite knowing only 2 steps. So that makes us all winners except him. He's a loser.
Third round: The lab rats get split into groups and have to choreograph a sparkling routine overnight. They ain't happy. Neither am I. I just want this over with. As do the editors apparently, as this entire segment is over with between one ad break.
To sum up: some go through, some get cut. It's that exciting.
They're down to 50. FIFTY!? Far Out! They've got like 2 minutes to get rid of 30 dancers! And the judges seem to realise this too as they suddenly decided to call 14 people onto the stage randomly and tell them to go home. That's it. You're outta there!
Olivia finally stops crying and gets a teeny bit cranky. Apparently she would have preferred to be cut right at the start of the week rather than being 'beat up and bruised up and (even worse) be around people she doesn't even like.
And while Olivia's bitching to the entire world, the judges get down to business and finally cull the numbers to 20. And they are:
Anya, Credric, Ashlee, Danny, Faina, Dominic, Jamie, Hok, Jessi, Jesus, Lacey, Jimmy,Lauren, Kameron, Sabra, Neil, Sara, Pasha, Shauna and Ricky.
Yeah, I hadn't heard of half of them either.
And if you thought this one was long, I just noticed that the next ep is 150 minutes long! Oh Shane, hold me, I can't take it any more...
LA
Hee - hopefuls queued around an entire block - over a mile of stretching, breaking, bopping tryhards being pestered by a gorgeous Cat. Who appears to have slept in, jumped out of bed, thrown on her skinny jeans and shortie dressing gown, and dashed down to auditions.
Nice dressing gown though, I'll give her that.
Nigel and Screaming Mary Murphy are present and correct and they are joined by Wade Robson . He's choreo'd Brittney and N'Snyc and that's apparently supposed to impress me. I'm much more impressed that he did the Rammalama (?) routine from S2's finale - the Zombie one that rocked in so many ways.
I'm also perturbed by the fact that Mary seems to have been styled by someone who thinks Mother-of-the-Bride is so hott right now. I don't get it. It's all short jackets and embroidery and satin and as The Fug Girls have been trying to get us to understand for months now - Satin is Not Your Friend.
And we're in to it.
Lauren - does some contemp in knee-high socks. The judges salivate - nice lines blahdy blah and she goes straight to Vegas.
Olivia - Here we have our contractual sob story. Poor baby grew up dancing as her mother owns a dance studio, then she got 'skin' problems and had to go on kick-arse medication which stuffed up her liver. So she stopped dancing which broke her mom's heart. The Mommy found a lump in breast and Our Libby being the dutiful daughter asks "what can I do?"... Mommy Dearest wants her baby to audition for SYTYCD. Not sit by her bedside feeding her grapes, not research alternative cancer therapies. No. She wants to see her baby onstage again.
She does OK. It's very tortured and melodramatic, or as Mary puts it 'overdanced' and for once she makes sense... She bursts into tears. Again. Man this chick spends a lot of time crying... She goes through the choreo round then is off to Vegas which prompts more waterworks. Blah. You do see the teeniest spark of arrogance as she leaves the theatre though. Just enough to make me hate her even more.
Then we have 'EJ' - a 120kg man-in-tights. And a belly shirt. Yes, it's that unpleasant. He then proceeds to do some Madonna -esque writhing on the floor before pulling out some surprisingly agile pirouettes and splits. He's given a standing ovation by the other auditionees but Nigel calls it patronising. Which it is. He tells EJ to keep dancing because it's good for his health - bwah! Talk about patronising! And then we get a montage of skinny hipsters all cranky because Nigel called someone fat, which isn't nice apparently. The only person who doesn't care is the very sunny EJ. Awww...
Patronising is the theme of the day as we meet Kurt & Dia, ballroom couple. They're good but must have met at some alternative therapy class as he has hiccuped constantly for the last 7 years and she has a nervous tick which manifests itself in a wink of truly Benny Hill proportions. It's bizarre to watch and all the judges just lose it trying to critique them... but they get through to Vegas, sadly never to be seen again.
Oooh. It's LA and so we must have some breakers and b-boys... woohoo, I do love these guys.
Hok - He's got the most bizarre hairstyle on the planet, all shaved and plaits and dreadlocky-bits. Also he's Japanese but with the cutest English accent. I just want to take him home and put him in the rabbit hutch he's so adorable! He'd been through to Vegas last season, but only having student visa meant he couldn't continue. But he's back and he's so damn good. Balancing on his fingertips one minute, doing a retro robot dance the next. Just awesome.
Then we get treated to a fabulous Breakers and B-boys montage and I'm a happy little Vegemite.
Suddenly heeerre's Benji! 2007 is the turning into quite the year of the Little Sister as Lacey Schwimmer joins Faina Savich in the 'Following in one's Brother's Footsteps' Foxtrot. She's Benji's 18 year old sister and is the national youth Swing and Latin champion. And yeah, she's a little mini-me of Benji, right down to the camp facial expressions. Totally off-putting. They shitted me on Benji, but they just make her look like an arrogant little prima donna. Am also freaked out when I realise she's the spitting image of Heidi (their cousin, also finalist last year) but with black hair. It's just all too ewwww for me.
Phew! LA and it's poseurs over it's off to
Chicago
With my main man Shane *swoon* Sparks.
And we get treated to the most awesome display of popping, like ever! Phillip just keeps going and going with classic popping and he has Shane mesmerised. And anything that makes Shane happy makes me happy.
And to make me even happier, next up are Eva and Michael. They're Lindy Hoppers, which is kinda like a mixture of Jive and Charleston and old-fashioned fun-looking dancing. They rock. They go through. Woo.
CSS* #2 - Janet Bombard. Completely harmless. (that'd be the Contractual Amputee Joke) She does a contemp routine which I swear looks just like either a) a really witty and clever parody of contemp or b) she's channeling a primary school concert. It's lucky I ain't a judge because apparently she was an amazing performer and they put her through to Vegas. Which makes me think: if ever I want to audition for this show, I need to be involved in a car accident and have an arm severed because the judges are really really lenient on you...
Apparently X number of people get through from Chicago but I seriously must have dozed off... sorry!
Next stop:
Atlanta
Mary's stylist is still playing a really nasty joke on her, but Shane's still around so I have eyes for no-one but him. *sigh*
And some guy is doing lots of lying on the floor. It makes no sense to me but Shane thinks he's the best example of a break dancer/ hip-popper that he's seen. Honey, you're losing me here... I just saw lots of artistic throwing himself on the ground. Isn't that the contemp thang? So confused...
But lo! Our first (and only) appearance from an authentic southern redneck (but he's so sweet I'll forgive him his atrocious dental work). Brandon does a bamboozling mash-up of clogging and booty-shaking. Even the judges are perplexed, but that may just have been the sight of so many teeth, so many angles, so little space.
I need to ask a question here: what the hell is the difference between tap-dancing and clogging? And no, Google is broken today so I can't look it up myself. I mean if they were dancing in these,
it would makes sense. But they're not. I feel a call to the Fair Trading Dept is in order. Ripped off!
And we come to the feel-good segment of tonight's show. Introducing Brian Gaynor, a computer science major who suffers from scoliosis. His popping routine is so sweet, so well executed, so damn perfect that it has Shane in tears... Don't we all love a man who can cry? Anyway, everyone recognises that Brian ain't going to be going to Vegas, but Shane promises to cast him in his next movie. And that makes Brian very happy, indeed, it makes us all very happy.
Talking about happy, there's one Dad out there who is NOT happy at all about the fact that his All American Quarterback son decided to toss it all in and become a ballet dancer! Miles broke his leg after playing football all the way to the last year of High School and took ballet classes after someone recommended it as therapy to strengthen his leg muscles. He loved it so much he ditched the football and picked up the leggings and My Goodness I have not seen a more tense interview between a man and his son in a long time. Ha! After 8 months of lessons Miles gets sent to Vegas - that's got to be the sweetest revenge!
Finally... Vegas!
Blah Blah "Hardest week of your life" witters Nigel. Oh for goodness sake, get ON with it. I need to get this thing finished!
And Mia Michaels joins the panel. This woman freaks me out - I swear she exists in a parallel universe... or, as one of the lab rats enthuses 'She brings irrationality from the stars to physicality' Yeah. That's what I said. Mad as bag of cut snakes.
The entire cast of thousands is onstage learning some Shane Sparks choreography. They get an hour to learn and rehearse then they dance. They have to get 3 votes to stay in, 2 votes means they have to 'dance for their life' in their individual style. 1 vote and they're going home.
Is it just me, or does the term 'dance for your life' (and it is used literally every 2 seconds for the remainder of this ep) conjure up the image of Nigel and a machine gun pointed at their feet. "Dance you suckers! Dance! Dance for your lives! mwuhahaha!"
One can but hope...
First round: Miles is out, poor lamb. He heads home to deal with his Daddy Issues. As are heaps of others, causing wails and moans and gnashing of teeth from the dancers "You don't understand how hard this is... it's not fair... yada yada yada"
Next round: It's time to submit to Mia the Merciless. Another hour to learn and rehearse a contemp routine that has been plucked from outerspace and interpreted by a fruitloop. Good Luck with that guys...
Favourite quote of the entire season goes to Shane - "But I don't know who's doing it good!" when asked to judge the contemporary dancing. Neither do we Honey, neither do we...
And in gorgeous circle-jerky fashion, the little Mia-fan who provided the 'Irrationality' quote, Ricky, dances the routine in such a way as to inspire a breathless 'He's amazing!' I luurrve him' from Mia. Spew.
Unsurprisingly the breakers don't do so well and have to do their thang, which treats us to another display of awesomeness so, y'know, we're all winners. At least we are until Jamahl decides to do a spot of tap-dancing. In socks. Despite knowing only 2 steps. So that makes us all winners except him. He's a loser.
Third round: The lab rats get split into groups and have to choreograph a sparkling routine overnight. They ain't happy. Neither am I. I just want this over with. As do the editors apparently, as this entire segment is over with between one ad break.
To sum up: some go through, some get cut. It's that exciting.
They're down to 50. FIFTY!? Far Out! They've got like 2 minutes to get rid of 30 dancers! And the judges seem to realise this too as they suddenly decided to call 14 people onto the stage randomly and tell them to go home. That's it. You're outta there!
Olivia finally stops crying and gets a teeny bit cranky. Apparently she would have preferred to be cut right at the start of the week rather than being 'beat up and bruised up and (even worse) be around people she doesn't even like.
And while Olivia's bitching to the entire world, the judges get down to business and finally cull the numbers to 20. And they are:
Anya, Credric, Ashlee, Danny, Faina, Dominic, Jamie, Hok, Jessi, Jesus, Lacey, Jimmy,Lauren, Kameron, Sabra, Neil, Sara, Pasha, Shauna and Ricky.
Yeah, I hadn't heard of half of them either.
And if you thought this one was long, I just noticed that the next ep is 150 minutes long! Oh Shane, hold me, I can't take it any more...
Labels: SYTYCD
posted by actonb at
8:14 am
4 Comments:
Yo that was an awesome SYTYCD recap. Yes that clog dancer's teeth were weird and the scoliosos guy made me cry. Cat remained a bit superfluous, but delightful. And Nigel makes a very nice and supportive cranky judge.
I thought this show didn't air until tonight?
*confuzzled*
This was the show from last Thursday.
I'm slow...
But as punishment I had to watch it twice...
Maybe like we should serialise the SYTYCD recaps ... like we get a thousand words every day over the week?
Kidding. Awesome recap.
Or, awesome first half. I'll get to the second in a minute.
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